Perhaps if people had been kinder to teenage Putin, he might not need to have his ego stroked now. Photo / AP
Opinion
OPINION:
I lost my cool with a customer last year. One of our staff had given her a whole bunch of free products, but the customer was not satisfied and got stuck into the staff member. My reply was harsh, along the lines of "pull your head in".
A
beautiful kuia standing behind her absolutely put me in my place with one quietly spoken sentence: "Just be kind, Dave". I walked off in a huff justifying in my mind my response as proportionate. Try as I might I could not shake that one sentence and why it was said. I didn't know what had happened to that customer that day, that week or even that year that had caused her outburst, but I did know my words did not help.
You see, that is the problem with proportionate responses, all they do is mirror heightened emotions. My day job sometimes requires me to meet with people who are in a state of stress. Stress caused by 100 different reasons and the issue right here, right now, is the one that is the metaphorical straw that broke the camel's back. By pushing back, we are more likely to add to the stress the person is experiencing. Instead we should show kindness and know this issue isn't about you, it's about them.
Of course, this does not always work, especially in international politics where people die if we don't apply the theory of proportional response. If Russian President Vladimir Putin orders the tanks to cross again into Ukraine, it will probably take American-supplied anti-tank missiles to get them to turn around. But I think my point still stands: Perhaps if people had been kinder to teenage Putin, he might not need to have his ego stroked now.
