Buddhist monk Gen Kelsang Rabten says our inner critic lies to us.
Buddhist monk Gen Kelsang Rabten says our inner critic lies to us.
Gen Kelsang Rabten has a problem with his teeth - they attract broccoli and other green food.
The Buddhist monk often speaks to groups so is conscious of his teeth trap.
So before he gives a talk he looks in the mirror for anything green lurking in his mouth. Instead of being critical if he finds some food, he thinks it is fantastic as he can now do something about it.
Rabten says it is important to develop a healthy relationship with our faults so we can attend to them.
He is the New Kadampa Tradition – International Kadampa Buddhist Union national spiritual director for New Zealand, Australia and South East Asia.
Rabten was in Palmerston North last week to give a public talk on silencing the inner critic.
That our inner narrative picks holes in what do is a dark secret of modern society. We suffer in silence with the voice picking away at us but it is a burden we don’t need to carry, he said.
Rabten shared the Buddhist approach to addressing the inner critic.
Buddha compared our mind to the forest which has many pathways. Some paths are well-trodden and take us to places we don’t want to go but these thoughts have their own momentum that propels us down that pathway.
We need a “meditation machete” to forge a new pathway that becomes as well-trodden as the old one.
Rabten shared the story of a monk who built a wall for the first time. It withstood the test of time but the monk focused on the one brick out of place.
We can do a great job but hone in on one little thing and that becomes the whole story.
After a great night out, we might lie in bed thinking about the one stupid thing we said.
The inner critic can erode our love of life and take away our joy.
The foundation principles for silencing our inner critic are mediation and observing our thoughts.
Just sit, breathe and be.
Our inner reservoir of stillness can be found through meditation.
Mindfulness is the mind’s ability to focus on what it wants to focus on - let it go where it wants to. When thoughts come up think not now.
The ability to observe our thoughts without losing ourselves in them means they don’t have power over us.
Rabten told the almost full Te Rangahau Room at Te Manawa that our thoughts and feelings are like clouds in the blue sky of our mind.
We can observe what is in the landscape of our mind but keep our distance so we are not sucked down the wormhole of negative thoughts.
Gen Kelsang Rabten shares ways to silence the inner critic at Te Manawa in Palmerston North.
A technique to silence the inner critic is to celebrate our good qualities. Stopping at a red light, feeding our pets, and thinking about our parents are all acts of kindness.
If we are not happy with ourselves and love ourselves, we are probably having problems accepting and loving others, Rabten said.
Observe our good actions and make a point of celebrating them. Log them as the inner critic is logging all the things we have done wrong. We need some ammunition for that battle.
