Zoe Scheltema: How to eat like an Instagram star

You're not a real Instagrammer if you haven't taken a photo of your post-workout meal #cleaneats. Photo / Getty

Instagrammers can get a lot of stick for portraying their lives in an unattainable way. Whether it be someone's physical attributes, the holidays they take or the food they eat it is, for most, a glimpse in to how the other half live.

Instagram is also a looking glass into the culinary world, and whether you know it or not, people all around you are snapping their sarnies in a bid to generate some Insta love.

Want to get on the filtered food snaps bandwagon? I'm here to tell you that eating like an Instagrammer needn't be so hard - if you follow these suggestions. Most importantly, make sure to follow the first rule: don't eat the food until you've taken the photo. It's easier said than done.

Take a trip to the newest cafe in town

This one requires you to go to a vegan, raw, dairy free, refined sugar, gluten free, organic cafe and order anything green. Just anything green. Extra points if what you're ordering have the words "matcha", "acai" or "goddess" in it.

You'll almost definitely get some avocado with it so make sure you hashtag that to get the likes streaming in.

Get a greasy burger, but from a cool restaurant

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May or may not have gone back to @andys_burgers for a weekend feast 😋🍔 #thatchickenburgerthough #burgersatandys

A post shared by Liana (@xlianarose) on Dec 19, 2015 at 4:08pm PST

Nothing says Instagram like the occasional burger photo to remind everyone that you're just like everyone else and you love to hoon a greasy fry. It brings you back to your roots and makes your followers believe you are JUST LIKE THEM.

Get all fancy on a "Parisian" balcony

I don't have a balcony and I don't live in Paris but I do have access to a supermarket that has plenty of pastries and cute little strawbs (Insta-speak for strawberries). All you need to do for this particular Gram is buy approximately the amount of food you would need for four people and lay it all out in front of you. Then put on a bathrobe and look off in to the distance while someone takes a photo of you.

You will also need a stainless steel cafetiere and a vase of flowers. Voila, you could be in Paris.

Pop some bottles

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Now that's a Saturday night ✨ *clink to the weekend * clink to a good first week of my job and *clink to us @alex_pledger35 🍾🍾🍾

A post shared by Bailee Wilson (@fivefootnothingau) on Oct 1, 2016 at 2:26am PDT

This one's a tricky one because if it's not Veuve, Mumm or any of those other ones that people pretend they know how to pronounce, then your pic may as well go straight in the bin.

The other option here is to get yourself some cocktails. This works well on two-for-ones because then you can caption the photo: "When they send too many drinks to the table #blessed". No one ever has to know that you frantically bought as many as you could carry before happy hour was over.

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And then the restaurant called and we had to drink these all in 5 minutes to make our booking.

A post shared by Z O E S C H E L T E M A (@zoescheltema) on Dec 29, 2016 at 3:11pm PST

Your daily cup of joe

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For our drinks are pink and full of chocolate 🙌🏻 @alex_pledger35 #majorsprout #noms #yummo #dateswithtallmen #latergram

A post shared by Bailee Wilson (@fivefootnothingau) on Dec 2, 2016 at 6:10pm PST

Obviously coffee is life and life is coffee. You need to grab that flat white, but only if it has good coffee art. Lay some of your makeup, keys and other miscellaneous items from your bag around it to give off the vibe of a casual and carefree morning coffee.

Only drink your drinks in cool alleyways

If you drink a smoothie in front of a wall without street art on it, did you even drink a smoothie at all?

Scour your neighbourhood for a pop-up

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You would hardly believe it but there was even a waffle underneath all this

A post shared by Z O E S C H E L T E M A (@zoescheltema) on Apr 30, 2016 at 6:54am PDT

Go find a pop-up, just any pop-up, it doesn't really matter. The weirder the better. Order one of everything from said pop-up and make sure you get some good photos of the food being held against some sort of natural back drop - the sea, a park, or the blazing sun.

Stay in bed

No, I don't mean with McDonalds after a night out - although some would argue that that is worthy of a million photos. We're talking about making some epic pancakes (bacon, berries, the lot) then setting them down on your white waffle sheets with a coffee in hand.

The post-workout snack

You're not a real Instagrammer if you haven't taken a photo of your post-workout snack and/or drink. If you're stuck for ideas, charcoal water's having a bit of a moment and would look great against your galaxy print leggings.