Rose* is on a quest to have sex every day for a week, even if it costs her a social life.
Rose and her boyfriend live together in inner-city Sydney. They fell in love pre-pandemic and moved in together during the second lockdown.
Between anxieties about losing their jobs, sick parents and various Covid scares, their sex lives took a nosedive, and now they only have sex on the weekends.
Rose has decided she would like get their sex life back, even if it means missing Taco Tuesday.
I don’t want to tell him about it though, because whenever I broach our dwindling sex life he gets defensive and sad, so instead I’m going to make it happen on my own.
We’ve both been going through a really stressful period with our careers and family and have both felt pretty down, and as a result, our sex life has taken a hit. So, I’m trying to put myself back out there.
I’m not a morning person, so I don’t even attempt to have sex with my boyfriend before 8am.
Instead, I promise myself I’ll swing into action after 5pm, hopefully when the weather isn’t so hot.
I end up having one of those days where I finish feeling completely drained, but I corner my boyfriend on the lounge. Because what guy can turn down that? Turns out, my guy can! He explains he feels too sweaty and gross from work, but he’ll be game after a shower.
It isn’t the hottest offer ever, but whatever, I’m determined.
He takes THREE HOURS to bother to shower, so we decide to have dinner first because I’m starving. I cook up some steak and salad, and then my mum rings, and I get stuck on the phone with her.
I crawl into bed, and he is already snoring. So there goes that!
Tuesday:
My boyfriend and I both stumble through our morning routine and he forgets to even yell out goodbye when he leaves.
Still, I have big plans to strike tonight, so I text my friends that I can’t make our weekly Taco Tuesday catch-up because I have the sniffles.
I don’t have the sniffles, but I do have plans to have sex, and no one is getting in the way. When I get home, my boyfriend has texted me to tell me he’s gone to get a beer with a mate. Considering I haven’t informed him of my sex goals this week, I don’t have the right to be angry, but I’m pissed anyway.
He ends up staying at the pub for dinner. By the time he gets home, he’s tipsy and I’m stone-cold sober. Because he’s drunk he’s feeling horny, but I’m completely turned off because he’s sweaty and smells like beer.
So I put a pin in our plans for incredible sex and send him to bed with some water and Panadol. I stay up late and binge-watch Sex and The City for some inspiration.
Wednesday:
I am determined today will be different. So, I send him a sexy photo of me in my underwear, and I even go to the trouble of editing it and using a filter.
It takes him two hours to reply. I know he doesn’t have his phone on him at work, but I’m agitated by the time he does.
He texts: “You’re so sexy, can’t wait to see you tonight!”
It’s a nice message, but I’ve had previous boyfriends that are way better at dirty talk. My current partner is very to the point, and while the compliment is nice, I wish he’d put more effort into getting me excited.
I’m so excited my plan is working that I sneak into the bathrooms at work and take a sexy cleavage-focused photo – nothing scandalous, but I think he’ll appreciate the effort.
He replies with the heart-eye emoji, which is disappointing, to say the least.
Still, when I get home, he greets me passionately and we have sex twice, which we hadn’t done since New Year’s Eve when we were both smashed. I’m feeling pleased with my efforts.
Friday:
I’m determined to finish the week on a sex high and don’t want to miss out on after-work drinks. So, I set my alarm early, wake up my boyfriend and initiate sex.
He’s surprised and sleepy, and I don’t orgasm because neither of us is putting in that much work, but it is nice, and before he leaves for work, he tells me he feels like we are really “connected” this week.
I feel like my trick worked, and we are back in a better place in our sex lives.
Saturday and Sunday:
I’m relieved it’s the weekend, because we always organically have sex these days. Both days we have sex twice, and I feel like the week set us up to really enjoy each other again - hopefully, I can relax and return to Taco Tuesdays.