If you thought your last date was disastrous, spare a thought for this poor guy.
In a truly bizarre case, a woman has delivered a rambling jailhouse press conference after allegedly stalking said guy and sending him more than 65,000 text messages — after a single date.
The texts became increasingly scary as the woman said she would kill her date if he left her, cut him up and wear his body parts.
Jacqueline Ades was arrested this month and slapped with charges of threatening and intimidating, stalking and harassment.
"I wound up here on a road trip from Florida looking for, I guess love," the 31-year-old told reporters, wide-eyed and breathing heavily.
"I felt like I met my soulmate and I thought we would just do what everybody else did and we would get married and everything would be fine.
"But that's not what happened."
A month ago, the man, whom Ades called "Isaac", called Paradise Valley police when surveillance footage showed her bathing in his tub when he was away on a trip.
A police report confirmed Ades, 31 — who authorities said had a butcher knife in her car — was arrested but later released and never showed up for her court date.
Ades became obsessed after the date in July last year, visiting Isaac's home and office and inundating him with texts, sometimes 500 in just one day.
"65,000? That's it? To me it seemed like more," she said. "Love is an excessive thing."
Ades met Isaac through dating website, Luxy, which prides itself as "the leading luxury millionaire dating App for wealthy, successful, beautiful and attractive men and women".
"It's the most shallow one ever, where rich men meet the pretty girls," Ades said.
VIDEO: Woman sent 65,000 text messages, accused of stalking, threatening Paradise Valley man https://t.co/nexbHu37je via @azcentral pic.twitter.com/IxBU76tPQM
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After noticing similarities between herself and Isaac, including the same birthday and the fact they are vegetarians, she became obsessed, and felt the couple's similarities and connection to the number 33 meant they were destined for Cupid's arrow.
She said she understood why people thought she was crazy, but she defended herself by claiming she is the person who "discovered love".
"Finding love, not everything is perfect. This was a journey. And I wanted to apologise because nobody could ever be more sorry.
"I love him."
She said: "I was just texting him, and he was listening."
When Isaac discovered what he'd gotten himself into, he told her he no longer wanted any contact. But then came the stalking.
Ades allegedly sent the man alarming texts including: "Oh what would I do w ur blood! … Id wanna bathe in it."
She called herself the "new Hitler" in another text.
In another message, Ades allegedly wrote: "Don't ever try to leave me … I'll kill you … I don't wanna be a murderer."
When asked why she sent Isaac so many texts, she claimed it was because "it made me find out all my information".
"Loving him selflessly brought me his information. Because everybody just wants to take.
"But if you just give and you don't stop giving, even if you don't receive, you will all of a sudden receive a lot," she told reporters.
Before her most recent arrest, Ades went to Isaac's place of work and was escorted from the building. Paradise Valley cops heard of it, and busted her in Phoenix. Ades, who told police she was the victim's wife, is being held without bond.
"He's not a victim, I want him to know that I love him. If he wants me to, I'll leave him alone," she said.
Ades said despite her obsession, Isaac was "the meanest person I've ever met".
She said her journey now was to go back home and "spread the message of love" and "love my ex-boyfriend".