Why this Australian mum says she lets her kids swear

The mum says letting her young kids swear has done wonders for their relationship. Photo / 123rf

Letting your kids swear: even for Australia, where many consider swear words part of everyday vocabulary, it's a dicey topic.

But Queensland mother-of-two Penny Brand has revealed why she lets her children do it, telling the ABC that relaxing the rules "completely changed" her relationship with her 10-year-old daughter.

"I threw away any outdated parenting rules on swear words and we've made serious inroads in improving our relationship," Brand said.

"She knows she can be authentic with me and it means she tells me more so that I can help her out.

"I want to meet my kids where they're at, not where old-fashioned rules and conventions say they should be."

Brand said that her 8 and 10-year-old have no issue understanding that swearwords aren't appropriate in every environment, explaining that "kids have a good grasp of the rules and conventions of swearing that they learn in the schoolyard".

"They can get in the car and say they had a 'sh*t day' or that something was 'f**king awesome' without me ignoring what they're trying to communicate to scold them for swearing – that's tone-deaf parenting in my books," she added.

Kids have heard most swearwords from an early age, often in the mainstream media, Queensland University of Technology communications, media studies, education and social justice lecturer, Dr Jason Sternberg, told the ABC.

Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey "gave us prime-time swear words", he said, while "social media allows us to swear without really swearing".

"Kids are saying 'WTF' and things are 'cool AF' as a part of their normal language and they mean no harm by it," Sternberg said.

Monash University lecturer Dr Catherine Cook also told the national broadcaster that swearing had moved from "never under any circumstances" to contextual appropriateness.

"Like any social function, we need to be 'trained' to use swearing properly," Cook, who develops language learning programmes for written and verbal communication, said.

"Both how and when to swear appropriately ourselves, and how to interpret it and react when we hear it from others.

"The response to being sworn at, is very different to swearing for emphasis, or swearing as a joke.

"Much like all interactions, the dynamics of this are very complex and are learned behaviours we gain through encountering them over time."