“I haven’t had my hair done in years. My nails done in years. My clothes come from Walmart. We can’t afford childcare,” one mother wrote under Gonzalez’s video. “But my babies have what they need. One day, I’ll have the purse, just not today.”
The hashtag #shedeservedthepurse challenge took off last week when mum influencer Cecily Bauchman told her 2 million followers that Gonzalez’s video had inspired her. Bauchman then posted a vlog of her buying a US$100 Target gift card. On the back of the receipt she wrote, “Hey! You deserve that special ‘you’ thing. You are amazing!” She slipped the gift card and note in a package of Huggies diapers.
The overwhelming response in the comments were from mums expressing the same sentiment — that they often neglect themselves. “As a mum who puts stuff back all the time to get stuff for my babies … this made me tear up,” one comment read. “I was a struggling mum of 4. I’m in a better position to pay it forward now. Doing this Thursday on my day off!” another mum wrote.
There are now nearly 150 TikTok videos of mums, many of them crying, sitting in their cars talking about their experiences and then showing themselves going into stores to “pay it forward”.
Katie Beach, a stay-at-home mother of a 2-year-old boy and 2-month-old girl, told the Post the videos had affected her deeply. She shared the videos with her group chat of mum content creators and encouraged them to give back. Last Friday, she went to her local Target and bought four US$50 gift cards, then went to the customer service desk and borrowed tape. She stuck the gift cards, the receipt and a note on various formula containers.
For Beach, this trend emphasises the supportive network that social media can play for mums.
“Social media was always an aspirational place where people weren’t really showing the truth,” Beach said. “I think recently, as we all start to show more of the truth, it makes motherhood feel so much less alone.”
She says this type of content has created solidarity among mothers of young children and validates their feelings.
Beach plans on buying more gift cards and going to Walmart this week.
Some mums are also directly giving gift cards to other mothers at stores. Danielle Stanley, a 27-year-old mum of two, wanted to give a gift to “the right person”.
Early on Monday morning, after dropping off her 5-year-old son at school, she sat in a Walmart parking lot and noticed a mum by herself with a car seat in one arm, carrying a newborn with a baby bag. Stanley remembered “what the trenches of the newborn phase” were like and wanted to bring the stranger some joy. After purchasing a US$100 gift card, she found the mum in the baby aisle and watched her put items back that she wanted for herself. Stanley told the mum what she was doing and handed the gift card to her. “Seriously? Seriously?” the shocked mum can be heard saying in the video. “Thank you for being an amazing mum,” Stanley told her before the two hugged.
“I know that it made her Monday so much better,” Stanley told the Post. “I hope this [trend] empowers mums to keep giving and to the ones receiving, I just hope it sparks enough light and love to give them the strength to keep pushing.”
