Why men should try sitting down to pee

The simple pleasure of sitting in a home bowl is one of the greatest joys in bodily function yet to be truly realised. Photo / Getty Images

Traditionally for the ladies, one man has discovered the many joys of weeing like a woman.

I had a life changing experience in Japan last year: I got naked in an onsen and washed myself like I never had before.

There are two main differences with the Japanese onsen approach. The first is that you sit to shower. The second is that after you shower you soak in a tub. In sitting, I found I could control the shower head, washing myself all over. I was able to put the energy I normally exert by standing into washing. I was able to reach every part of my body with ease. I had never felt so relaxed and thoroughly clean. And then, after I washed, I soaked in a hot tub and cleansed my mind.

When I returned to New Zealand, I wanted to adopt this newfound cleaning practice into my routine. Alas, the shower in my rented flat made this simple pleasure unattainable.

I yearned for this feeling and, through a controversial epiphany, I have found it in sitting down to pee.

Yes, it's true. And I can tell you, fellow men, why it's better:

When I sit to pee, I get this little moment to just relax. I don't have to aim. I don't have to see anything. I can just relax and empty my bladder. Sometimes, I even do a little poo.

After I pee, I dab with a bit of toilet paper and I re-enter the world with a lighter stride.

There's no chance of splashing, no dripping, no wiping down any missed bits. I'm just done.

READ MORE: • Matt Heath: Who's making all that mess in our toilets?

However, when I've sheepishly shared my life-changing movement with friends, I'm cut down to size almost instantly. It's as if, for some reason, I'm perceived as less masculine for not standing. I am told I have to stand to pee, as if it's an earned glory and to not do so is to waste an opportunity.

Make no mistake: if there's a urinal in front of me, I'll use it. And if I'm in a public toilet I will stand. But I will not stand at home. The simple pleasure of sitting in a home bowl is one of the greatest joys in bodily function yet to be truly realised.

It would appear that at least 50 per cent of the world has been doing this since the beginning of time, so why didn't they encourage the rest of us to join in? Is it because of the patriarchy? Is it because they've always admired "the stand" and yearned to do so?

We have an opportunity, where we can stand or sit, and I would like to encourage my fellow men to try sitting. This whole experience has led me to ponder what else women are enjoying that we men aren't.

*The author of this post has asked to remain anonymous