Why being humble is good for learning and your relationships

Admitting you don’t know everything might be one of the smartest things you can do. Photo / 123rf

Research shows that intellectual humility is correlated with more general knowledge, curiosity and open-mindedness.

No one knows everything.

Recognising this limitation and the potential fallibility of even our most deeply held beliefs is core to the concept of intellectual humility.

“It helps you overcome this very categorical, black-and-white thinking that we are often succumbing to,” said Igor Grossmann, professor of psychology at the University of Waterloo, Ontario.

The idea of intellectual humility has been around for centuries, with philosophers deeming it a virtue to be aware of and acknowledge our limitations. However, experimental interest by psychologists became popular only within the past decade or so in response to rising political polarisation in the United States. They saw intellectual humility as a potential antidote.

“Intellectual humility is hard, because we want to be right, and we think we’re right,” said Tenelle Porter, an assistant professor of psychology at Rowan University, New Jersey, who co-wrote a 2022 review with Grossmann about intellectual humility.

But the research suggests that these challenges come with benefits; intellectual humility is one way to better not only ourselves but also our relationships - by helping us to learn and get along with one another.

When in a heated disagreement - over, say, Thanksgiving dinner - it may help to focus on your “shared humanity,” Grossmann said. “We’re still part of the same planet. … We breathe the same air.”

This can help you to think differently about the situation, he said. “You become less defensive, because it’s less about you versus them. It is a bit more about us,” Grossmann said.

Being open to learning

Although intellectual humility is not associated with an increased cognitive ability, it is correlated with more general knowledge, curiosity and open-mindedness.

“If somebody realises, ‘Okay, the way I think is not perfect,’ they’re more likely to be able to make corrections and overcome some of those things,” said Elizabeth Krumrei Mancuso, a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University.

In one 2019 study involving 1189 subjects, Krumrei Mancuso and her colleagues found that more intellectually humble people were also more likely to have characteristics that help with acquiring new knowledge: reflective thinking, curiosity and intellectual openness.

One experiment asked participants to rate their familiarity with pieces of general knowledge (for example, Napoleon). Crucially, it also mixed in fictitious items (for instance, Queen Shattuck, Murphy’s Last Ride).

Those who were intellectually humble possessed more general knowledge and were less likely to claim that they knew something that did not exist.

However, the study also found that intellectual humility was associated with a “modesty effect” of underestimating one’s own ability.

But, in its ideal, intellectual humility is not about thinking less of yourself, Krumrei Mancuso said. You can still be certain about things you have good evidence for while holding on to the possibility of being wrong.

“Intellectual humility does not mean that everything is up for grabs, that there are no answers, that there is no truth, that there is no such thing as good evidence,” Porter said.

Research has found that those with more intellectual humility are more likely to scrutinise evidence and less likely to fall for misinformation and unsupported conspiracy theories.

“You can be intellectually humble and intellectually courageous at the same time,” Krumrei Mancuso said.

Intellectually humble people are less likely to claim they know about fictitious topics. Photo / 123rf

Intellectual humility helps relationships and us work together

Intellectual humility may also be key in our personal relationships, because it is associated with prosocial values such as empathy, perspective-taking and the willingness to listen to others.

It may help us smooth over and forgive differences and is associated with a better mood and a sense of closeness even following an interpersonal conflict.

There can also be individual social benefits. Contrary to what one might expect, admitting that you are wrong or that you don’t know everything may make you look more competent, not less. Research suggests that followers are satisfied with more intellectually humble leaders.

In these polarised times, more intellectual humility overall may make conversations more fruitful and open if people take a step back and have the awareness that there may be something they haven’t considered, Porter said.

“We are here in the United States of America. We have this precious democracy that we are trying to protect, continue, make thrive,” she said. “We have to find some way to have a coherent society that works together to get things done. … Intellectual humility makes that work better.”

Potential downsides to intellectual humility

Researchers on intellectual humility - perhaps unsurprisingly - are quick to acknowledge how much they do not yet know about it.

For one, much of the individual benefits of intellectual humility are correlational.

For another, many studies rely on questionnaires assessing intellectual humility in different contexts. Though this method has provided insights into the characteristics and consequences of intellectual humility, it does have drawbacks, such as the humility paradox. (“You can’t trust someone who is saying they are the most humble person,” Grossmann said.)

There are also cases where being too intellectually humble may not be beneficial, though less is known about the downsides, because it isn’t as well studied.

But it is conceivable that there are circumstances where you don’t want to express uncertainty about your knowledge, such as in a hostile workplace or a military context.

Intellectual humility is also a “costly strategy,” because it takes time for us to assess. And sometimes we don’t have the luxury of time, Grossmann said.

Intellectual humility can reduce defensiveness in conflicts by focusing on shared humanity. Photo / 123rf

How to cultivate intellectual humility

Research on intellectual humility interventions is ongoing, said Grossmann, who was careful not to “overpromise.” But there are some things that may help, experts say.

Take a moment to reflect

Before going into a potentially contentious conversation, remind yourself of the benefits of intellectual humility as well as the goals you have for the interaction.

Step outside yourself

In a 2021 study, Grossmann and his colleagues assessed 149 adults who wrote diary entries about the most significant thing that happened that day for a month. But some participants wrote in the third person, from a less egocentric perspective, while the control group subjects wrote in the first person.

After the month-long experiment, those who wrote in the third person had more growth in wise reasoning, including intellectual humility and open-mindedness, compared with pre-diary assessments.

And they were later less likely to report negative feelings about the people who they felt transgressed against them, Grossmann said.

Gratitude is linked to increased intellectual humility, fostering both self-awareness and openness. Photo / 123rf

Have gratitude

Feelings that help you transcend yourself and focus on something bigger seem to help. In one study, Krumrei Mancuso and her colleagues compared what are known as self-transcendent emotions - such as awe, love and gratitude - with other positive emotions and found that self-transcendent emotions could increase intellectual humility, at least in the short term.

Gratitude was the strongest predictor of intellectual humility.

“You can’t be grateful and take credit at the same time,” Mancuso said.

Though the emotions don’t usually last long, the nice thing about these self-transcendent experiences is that we can encounter them over and over in our daily lives, she said.