Who is really the Queen's 'favourite family member'?

By Shane Watson

Daily Telegraph UK·

24 Mar, 2022 11:00 PM5 mins to read

Shane Watson on who the Queen's favourite family member might be. Photo / Getty Images

Opinion:

In the past couple of years, and particularly since the death of Prince Philip, Sophie Wessex has emerged as the Queen's rock and now – based on her recent solo trip to New York – people are saying her role has been upgraded from "favourite family member" to "secret weapon". This may be putting it too strongly – we're pretty sure it is – but what's beyond doubt is that Sophie is one of life's Super Sophies, a type we're all familiar with though inclined to underestimate until events kick her into the spotlight and we're reminded that everyone should have one.

You can't conjure a Super Sophie but what you can do is identify her and appreciate her rather than, say, shoving past her to pay court to the vivacious, yoga-honed, connected type with the amazing house who everyone wants to be besties with. It's a lesson we generally learn at school (your super cool friend may not be there for you when you need her, whereas Super Sophie will be), but some of us are still getting seduced by dazzling new friends well into midlife – dodging dates with Super Sophies to go to their glittery parties.

She'll talk to the octogenarians at the party and make a beeline for your 96-year-old dad - she's 'Super Sophie'. Photo / Getty Images

Super Sophies tbh often don't get the recognition they deserve until well into their 50s. This is because at first glance she may seem a bit straight, a fraction less mischievous than your normal pals and definitely less boozy – never the less (in case you haven't got the message), if you haven't got one to call your own you're going to be a good deal worse off.

I mean it's possible you don't want to spend your holidays or New Year's Eve with her, but otherwise… one of life's essentials. Here's why everyone needs a super Sophie:

Super Sophie… will put other people's interests first

She'll talk to the octogenarians at the party and make a beeline for your 96-year-old dad – rather than spotting the networking opportunities and milking them. She'll notice the cheese straws need handing round, rescue the cake before it burns, do a chunk of washing-up before she leaves and generally make herself useful. When you're having a bad time and keep ringing her at the office Super Sophie (SS) will answer or text you the next gap in her schedule. There are unreliable friends and there are reliable friends – and then there is SS.

Sophie, Countess of Wessex, recently met her lockdown friend Edna Farley for the first time in person after speaking regularly by telephone during the pandemic. Photo / Getty Images

Super Sophie… will have a good grasp of the loyalty rules

There are certain friends who might come to your birthday party (or God forbid, your wedding) looking a lot better than you and control the room so that you end up looking like the catering staff. SS is far too considerate. She's not about to announce she's pregnant at your wedding (unlike some we could mention). She wouldn't dream of showing off about her son's new job in the field your son is trying to break into with zero success.

She's never going to buy the same dress as you (and then pretend she didn't know you had one); she's not going to steal your baby name, or make plans to meet up alone with the friend you introduced her to.

SS is not competing with you on any front because this is incompatible with the friendship she offers

Super Sophie… will be 30 per cent more grown up than all the friends and relations who rely on her (unless that person is the Queen). You may not be aware of this when you first make her acquaintance but then over time you will notice that she's perfectly happy to be the designated driver, she has at least two fully stocked first aid kits, a survival blanket and a couple of torches in places where they might actually be useful in a power cut.

You do not have to remind SS what time to be at the airport (she'll get there three hours ahead for any long-haul flights) and not only has she never left the oven on overnight, got trapped in a bathroom window breaking into her own flat, or had four martinis and ended up on a train to Scotland, she second-guesses those of us who are still not 100 per cent reliable. She will text you: "You know the clocks go forward tomorrow?" or "Don't forget a handbag counts as hand luggage."

Super Sophie… takes her social responsibilities seriously

While a lot of people are thinking about "giving something back", SS is actually putting something back and has been for a few years now. When most of your friends decide they need more meaning in their life they join a wild swimming club or book into a meditation retreat, but SS gets stuck in to volunteering jobs – even the ones that require commitment at weekends. Even the ones where you can't get so much as wine in a paper cup.