It turns out how you choose to sleep next to each other may mean a lot more than you think. Photo / Getty Images
It turns out how you choose to sleep next to each other may mean a lot more than you think. Photo / Getty Images
Are you a cuddler, barrier creator, or maybe you just like to hog the majority of the bed when you doze off next to your partner?
It turns out the position you assume for sleep can reveal a lot about the current state of your relationship.
For years psychologists have used sleep positions as a key piece of information in determining the health of relationships. And these methods still hold up today.
Sleep psychologist Hope Bastine and sex and body language expert Annabelle Knight spoke to the Telegraph about the meaning behind your subconscious sleeping habits.
Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? According to Knight spooning is often used to showcase power:
"This position can show an imbalance in the power dynamic between the couple," she explains. "Spooning can show that one partner is dominant and/or feels the need to protect the weaker partner. It's suited to couples with a more traditional dynamic.
"Spooning is also favoured by couples with high levels of trust," Knight added.
However Bastine notes that the position is also quite a sexual one: "The sleep position is quite sexy because the sex organs are in alignment."
Loose Spoon
Similar to spooning but with space between each other, the loose spoon is a bit more of a "mature spoon", says Knight:
"It is not as sexual as a Spoon – it is mature and would probably be opted for by couples on a more even keel when it comes to the power in the relationship."
However research suggests that the more physical contact during sleep, the greater the satisfaction within the relationship. Bastine notes if you lack this, it could be time to sit down for a chat.
It can often be helpful to ask yourself if there are mental or emotional barriers making you and your partner more distant than usual, they advise.
The Chase
If you're constantly reaching out for your partner in bed and finding them far away, the pair of you might be out-of-sync.
Bastine says of this position - which as the name suggests sees one partner "chasing" the other around the bed- : "It's a sign that the witholder has made a decision to pull away or is holding something back.
"The Chaser perhaps senses something is amiss but is too nervous to verbally ask what's going on. They are non-verbally making emotional contact. If this is happening, then it's time for a tête-à-tête."
It turns out how you choose to sleep next to each other may mean a lot more than you think. Photo / Getty Images
The Tangle
This sleeping position is not only very intimate, with the two of you facing each other and intertwined, it is also a sign of lust.
Bastine notes this position is often indicative of young love and high satisfaction levels. However this isn't always the best sign long term.
Bastine warns: "Over time it can lead to an 'enmeshment'. It's a sign that you've over cultivated your 'we' identity and you need to invest in your separate lives to maintain your 'I' identity, such as spending time with you own friends or pursuing your own hobbies."
The Undone Knot
Similar to The Tangle, The Undone Knot is the best of both worlds, according to Knight. Starting out in a "tangle" then separating, it shows a strong relationship, with high-levels of emotional and physical connection, but also independence.
Bastine agrees: "This tells the story of your relationship. It says something like 'I'm really into you but to really fall asleep and sleep well - in need some space'."
Back to Back
This extremely common sleeping position can often showcase a couple who both have high levels of self confidence says Knight:
"This position is opted for by couples who are secure in themselves, their relationship, and their partner. It's an extremely popular position, with the majority of couples choosing this as their sleeping style."
Bastine adds that in her opinion, this position can indicate "resentment from both sides."
For fans of back to back, bum to bum is a similar way of achieving the same thing.
"It's a compromise of a sleep style that allows for independence but also for security and physical reassurance. This position might be popular with couples migrating from the lust stage of their relationship into the limerence stage," shares Knight.
The Nuzzle
The Nuzzle is similar to The Tangle in that it gives a sense of security, which Bastine notes is an indication the relationship is in a good place, but leaning more toward emotional than sexual.
Knight agrees: "The Nuzzle is a reassuring position that may be adopted by couples wanting clarification that their other half feels the same levels of interest."
The Leg Hug
This position, when one partner places their leg over the other's, is often a sign that one person in the relationship is independent, while the other is a little clingy.
However if partners share the roles then Knight notes it can show a high level of desire for physical intimacy - even when you are asleep.
The starfish position is a clear indicator of serious issues in a relationship, according to Knight. They also acknowledge leaving a partner with little or no room in the bed is a sign of selfishness.
"It indicates that they care little for their other half's comfort and can often be a sign that their subconscious is taking on their conscious feelings of indifference or disregard."
Bastine added that it can be a sign of imbalance where one person takes and the other gives.
"This is jokingly called the selfish sleeper in my work," she says. "If you're both happy with these roles - that's fine - but if one is not, then you need to talk about what needs aren't being met."
Top to Toe
Sleeping upside-down to your partner is as unusual as it is concerning, according to the experts. Knight notes that this position is a red flag in a relationship and you and your partner may be totally out of alignment:
"This isn't the position of a happy couple. Choosing to be as far away from their head and heart as possible is indicative of ill feeling within the relationship.
"If a couple finds themselves in the top to toe position then they should take action, open up an honest dialogue to get to the root of any issues and, if in doubt, seek a counsellor or relationship coach."
