Yes, you too can have a 15-foot tree just like the Queen - first, you'll need a palace and staff. Photo / Getty Images
Yes, you too can have a 15-foot tree just like the Queen - first, you'll need a palace and staff. Photo / Getty Images
There seem to be two schools of thought this December. Either you're going hard on festive jollity – perhaps your house already looks like a scene from White Christmas – or you're pretending the whole event isn't happening yet.
It's tempting to postpone festivities, but after a very strange few months there is a lot to be said for going all out, and going early.
We're a nation of sticklers who normally turn our noses up at the sight of a Christmas tree before December 1, but an awful lot of people seem to have thrown caution to the wind this year and put them up early.
And who can blame them? Spending an inordinate amount of time pondering a theme for your tree and ordering novelty baubles could be just the distraction we all need.
The only question is, what is your 2020 Christmas aesthetic, and could this be the year to mix it up? Are you a minimalist or a maximalist? Does the mere thought of a theme make you shudder? Do you love kitsch or are you a slave to Scandi chic? Is just one enough?
Whatever you choose, there's a tree tribe for you ...
The Covid crew
There seems to be a growing and, frankly, worrying trend for topical ornaments this year.
Instagram is full of people showing off mask-wearing Santas, tiny ceramic loo rolls with "2020" emblazoned on the sheets (quite why you'd want that on your tree is beyond me), sparkly superhero NHS nurses, and wooden snowflakes complete with "fun" messages like "Our First Pandemic".
Should you want to use your tree as a tableau on which to document this year of years, look no further than Etsy, a treasure trove for niche pandemic-themed decorations.
The kitsch crowd
Of all the years to eschew the minimal Scandi chic look and go all out, it is surely this one. It's been a tough few months so you might as well throw unholy amounts of tinsel and fairy lights at the problem.
For some, this is the year to go green. It's lovely to have a real tree in the house dispensing piney goodness, but come January it's unceremoniously dumped in the nearest landfill.
In the UK, some companies have started offering trees to rent. You take your pine home in a pot, water it daily and in the new year it's collected, replanted and left to grow until next year.
Of course, there's nothing stopping you planting your own potted Christmas tree - just make sure it's on one of those little platform things with wheels so you don't do your back in.
And if you're looking to move away from a traditional tree entirely, homewares retailers offer a range of Scandi wooden numbers.
There's plenty to choose from in the eco-friendly bauble realm, too. Glass, wooden and homemade decorations often have a smaller carbon footprint and last longer than plastic and sparkles.
Once a must-have in every suburban front garden, more recently it fell out of fashion due to the (entirely unsubstantiated) idea that it signalled that swingers lived in the house.
Well, lovers of the '70s revival rejoice – it's back, and being used to create beautiful arches and garlands by the social media "it crowd".
You'll need to buy an awful lot of pampas grass and set aside the best part of a day to get crafty if you want to give this a go. But this could be the year to pour yourself a large mulled wine and give it a go. It beats dragging all the old decorations out of the loft only to realise the lights don't work.
Photo / elari_events / Instagram
Or you could follow the lead of the interiors gurus that work wonders with IKEA products and try the Swedish juggernaut's bamboo tree, which rather resembles several lampshades placed on top of each other – but whatever floats your boat.
Photo / IKEA
The foodie fans
Being able to eat your decorations seems like as good a plan as any. Economical, too, as come Twelfth Night any chocolates will have been demolished and taking down the tree will be straightforward.
You can go the old-fashioned route and dry orange slices in the oven, then thread them with twine (not especially tasty, to be fair), or buy any number of hanging chocs, mini booze bottles, candy canes, etc.
If you're after a foodie theme, but don't want your tree to be entirely edible (perhaps you're one of the thousands who bit the bullet and got a lockdown puppy, whose tummy would not appreciate a gold coin) there are any number of gastronomic-themed baubles out there.
The two-tree tribe
For some, 2020 calls for excess. Why have one tree when you could have two? Or three even? One approach is to go for the real deal in the living room, but have little artificial trees in other rooms.
You could have a different theme for each ‒ an underwater motif in the bathroom, a foodie feast in the kitchen, and one tucked away in the spare room for all the tatty but sentimental decorations your kids made at kindy. They'll all make you smile.
And this year, there's a lot to be said for a heavy dose of comfort and joy.
