How far would you go for a "bargain"? Photo / Getty Images
Here's a spot of trivia for your Monday:
What turns a fancy active wear-wearing, European SUV driving, nut mylk sipping, "living, laughing, loving" soccer mum into a monster?
A friends and family sample sale.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of a sample sale. The thought of getting a designer item for a fraction of the retail price brings me genuine joy that's, if I'm honest, comparable only to what I felt on my wedding day.
And while I am all about women being total bad asses and going for what they want, what is it about a sample sale that turns some into total savages?
Is it just me or is there a direct correlation between the amount of active wear being sported and the levels of aggression one exhibits?
Let me explain:
One frosty Saturday morning recently I joined an orderly line outside the doors of a "secret sample sale", ready to seize a highly coveted pair of shoes.
When the doors opened I watched a Lululemon-wearing woman rush in and throw every pair of shoes in a size 8 into a large duffel bag. Then she sat herself down in the middle of the narrow room and tried on every single pair as people were forced to walk over her.
To her credit, she did allow others to view her discarded seconds - by throwing them in a messy pile and snarling as if she was being mugged when anyone reached for a pair.
It was at this same sale that I watched a woman pile clothes sky high in front of the room's only mirror. When I tried to use a tiny corner to view my outfit I ended up being pushed into her mountain of items as she accused me of "stealing her good sh**".
Now we all know the awkwardness of hunting through one end of a clothing rack with the knowledge that at some point you're going to meet a fellow shopper from the other end in the middle.
It's tricky to navigate, for sure, but what you don't do is push past two people trying to negotiate a polite crossover to grab a shirt, drag it across the faces of the two women in its path and yell "Ha! Mine".
It's not just once you get inside the sale that you need to keep an eye out for these characters either. Sometimes even getting in the doors can be a challenge.
During a "friends and family sale" in Newmarket's Teed Street, I watched a woman - yes, she was in Lycra - tell an elderly lady and her granddaughter that the sale they had been lining up for had been cancelled.
Lycra Lauren then picked up her phone and called a friend who worked at the store to ask her to let her in early as thanks for getting rid of the "peasants".
At the end of the day, it's just a sale, you are just another person, and there is nothing that makes you more entitled to that top with "slight makeup marking around the collar" than anyone else.
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