Steven with bride-to-be Lauren Schano and her winning drawing.
Steven with bride-to-be Lauren Schano and her winning drawing.
How much would it take for you to strip naked in a room full of strangers?
A Wellington hen party in desperate need of nudity placed an online ad and was flooded with responses - but one applicant shone through.
Amy Zeilstra placed the notice on the popular Facebook group Vic Deals, calling for a life model “who is genuine, respectful and friendly, with a delightful sense of humour to pose for a small hens do”.
The ad stated that the successful applicant must be comfortable with their own body and must like dogs (because there would be two running around the house).
”We can offer a box of beers or $100 cash for your time, and will of course provide drinks, snacks, a robe and some grapes for coverage.”
Life models have become a staple of the hen party scene, posing naked for aspiring artists in a highbrow take on the strippers of the past, but are often organised through agencies or party planners.
But not for these young Wellingtonians whose DIY approach garnered an enthusiastic response from the good people of Vic Deals.
They were hit with a barrage of boys wanting to bare their bods, or to be more accurate, bravely volunteering their mates to do it.
”Get the rig out son,” wrote one young man who appreciated the cut of his friend’s gib.
”Not sure if your micro donger will be a problem though?” another asked his friend.
”Your time to shine dig biddle,” one chap told his allegedly generously proportioned pal.
”It’s time to release the taniwha,” said another.
Others were more concerned about full measurement.
”Is there a height requirement?” enquired a short king.
For some, the payment was the key factor.
”Bro do it for the beersiesss.“ ”If you do this we’ll have cans.”
Zeilstra told the Herald they were able to quickly filter through the dozens of wannabe models and fortunately, and perhaps surprisingly, the party planners were not hit with any unsolicited nude photos, despite the incessant talk of dongers and diddles.
There was one intriguing message that stood proud from the others online, however, one man who talked a big, curvy game.
”DM me, I ain’t got no shame,” the applicant stated.
”Hope you ladies like curves, because I’ll be bringing that dad bod.”
Ladies and gentlemen, he did.
Steven in a Viking helmet. The horny addition was the model's own.
Steven, whose surname (unlike the rest of him) must remain a mystery, was selected for the gig partly because he had some experience as a life model - and he passed the vibe check.
Arriving at the Hataitai home, Steven was met by the bride-to-be Lauren Schano and the hens who were fresh from a bottomless brunch.
Zeilstra admitted they wanted someone who would be “chill with the fact that we would be drinking” and would be able to engage in some friendly banter.
There was nothing seedy about the exchange, with the women creating a “safe space” for Steven to prepare himself when he arrived.
“He said he was a little bit nervous and we were like ‘yeah we are too’ but then he just whipped off the robe and we got to drawing.”
Steven dared to bare.
There was some physical contact.
“My dog gave him a bit of a kiss on the face,” Zeilstra admitted.
Steven transitioned through a series of poses suggested by the partygoers, at times donning a Viking helmet and ended by choosing his favourite drawing (the bride’s effort).
Steven with bride-to-be Lauren Schano and her winning drawing.
Steven admitted to some nerves but told the Herald that he wasn’t apprehensive because he was confident in his own body.
He said his hosts were friendly and welcoming and recommended the experience to those who were open to it.
“I started losing my hair when I was 14 and could grow a full beard at 12,” Steven said.
“I’ve been different to my peers for most of my life, so I have had a long road of building up my self-esteem and dealing with what others think, to the point where I’m really comfortable now.”
Chris Marriner is an Auckland-based journalist covering trending news and social media. He joined the Herald in 2003 and previously worked in the Herald’s visual team. He has no immediate plans to ‘release the taniwha’.
