Wellbeing: Life on Planet Tanty

Mel Homer's son, Tom Pilcher, rightly lets Mum know his displeasure at her unreasonableness. Photo / Supplied

Tricky toddlers drive mean mums and dads online in search of support.

Remember that time I wouldn't let my toddler son walk backwards and forwards repeatedly over the "bump bumps" (judder bars) on the road, thus potentially causing multiple accidents and him getting squished in the process?

How unreasonable of me. What a horrible parent.

Allow me to set the scene - I was pregnant. About as heavily pregnant as it is possible to be, a mere one day away from giving birth. I was out shopping with my son.

There I was, lumbering along, having all of those warm fuzzy pregnancy thoughts that you have when you're a day away from giving birth, such as "get this baby out of me" and "can I go five minutes without peeing?" when the trouble started.

With his extensive transport and roading knowledge, garnered from putting Thomas the Tank Engine tracks together, my toddler felt my argument that he'd get run over by a car if he walked up the middle of the street was invalid.

So he reacted in a balanced and thoughtful manner.

Who am I kidding? He's a toddler. What happened was he turned a violent shade of tomato, his mouth yawed open and he let out the most almighty screech, hurling himself face first on to the ground, kicking and screaming.

In my heavily pregnant state I couldn't even bend over to put my shoes on, much less pick up a toddler in the middle of a full-blown tantrum, so I did what any caring parent would do. I went and hid around a corner and watched him. I watched him as he flailed and wailed. I watched him as a sympathetic Chinese man from the shop nearby approached him with a lollipop.

I watched as my child, whose head had pretty much just rotated 360 degrees Exorcist-style, turned on the charm and was sweetness and light itself.

Toddlers. There is no reasoning with them when they're on Planet Tanty, ruled by raw pain and unreason.

If you too have experienced the full fury of a toddler who thought the dignified way to board a plane was to roll from Customs to the boarding gate screaming the entire way, and YOU were the unreasonable one because why couldn't he stay and help the man stamp the passports, then let me recommend an Instagram account for you.

This is a place where parents submit photos of their little raging princes and princesses losing the plot, for such valid reasons as, "I wouldn't make the moon come back, so I'm an #***holeparent" or "I wouldn't let her paint teeth with gold nail polish".

It's a place to go for parental solidarity when your kids are being ridiculous.

But there is hope for those who have endured the parenting walk of shame through restaurants, supermarkets and airports, hauling a screaming child along with them.

We've come out the other side and now they have turned into family bonding experiences. My kids like nothing better than hearing about the time they raged against putting a seatbelt on when the plane was landing and the time when Mummy was tantruming so hard in the supermarket as a toddler that Granny walked off and left her.

And the stories will make excellent fodder for 21st speeches.

• Mel Homer is the announcer on Mix 98.2. She writes about parenting in Living once a month. Follow her on Twitter: @melhomer