KEY POINTS:
It's an important thing to remember as the Christmas cards tumble through your front door.
If you are using one of those silver letter-openers to prise open the envelopes, firmly affix protective eyewear to your face first.
One fumble and your sight could be plucked faster than a sixpence from the figgy pudding.
That, presumably, was the reasoning of one American company when it added the label, "Caution: safety goggles recommended", before distributing their new letter- opener.
What it did not know, however, was that its advice would become the subject of public ridicule.
It happens to be the time of year also when a group based in Michigan which campaigns against the scourge of frivolous lawsuits in American - the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch - announces the winners of its Wacky Warning Label Contest.
Listeners of a local radio station nominate their favourites. The letter-opener won an honourable mention but was only a runner-up in a particularly choice harvest of daft labels spotted during 2007.
The top prize went to a man who saw a sign attached to a small tractor listing dos and don'ts when dismounting.
It begins simply: "Danger. Avoid Death!"
Second place went to the person who reported seeing a label with an iron-on transfer for T-shirts which read: "Do not iron while wearing shirt".
Right behind came this admonition, attached to a baby pushchair with a small storage sack attached: "Do not put child in bag."
According to the group, consumers in America are treated like dunderheads in this manner because of the terror shared by all manufacturers of being targeted by unscrupulous lawsuits.
By making fun of the stupidest labels, it hopes to shame the lawyers.
"Predatory lawyers know they can file ridiculous lawsuits against innocent product makers and blackmail them into a cash settlement - even in cases in which a user has ignored common sense," explained Dorigo Jones, who dreamed up the contest.
"The real issue is not the obvious warning labels but the billions of dollars in litigation costs passed on to consumers - a kind of a 'lawsuit tax' we all pay."
Not everyone sees humour in the exercise, however.
"Warning labels save lives, so it's shameful this group would make fun of them in order to further its campaign to weaken our civil justice system," said a sniffy Kathleen Flynn Peterson, president of the American Association for Justice.
The opener aside, a second honorable mention went to a warning discovered by Ann Marie Young of New York.
It was included in a disappearing-ink pen for marking fabric.
"The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing cheques or any legal documents," it said.
Some warning labels are here to stay, however daft they may appear.
Among the most famous maybe: "Caution, Contents Hot", which appears on virtually every takeaway beverage cup in America and came about after a woman sued McDonald's when coffee she bought at one of its fast-food outlets spilt and scalded her skin.
Ronald's silly fault, of course - not hers.
- INDEPENDENT
