If money doesn’t buy you happiness, what does? Photo / 123rf
If money doesn’t buy you happiness, what does? Photo / 123rf
If money doesn’t buy you happiness, what does? It was a question plaguing financier Sahil Bloom as he drove his Lexus Coupe (with scarlet leather seats) home, where an expensive bottle of wine was waiting.
On the surface, everything was rosy.
“At the age of 23, I left college straight into a six-figure salary at a private equity firm,” says Bloom. “I had the promise of millions and millions in the future from carried interest, a performance-based pay reward.
“In one year, my wife, Elizabeth, and I stayed at five-star hotels in Thailand, Dubai, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, and India,” he says.
“Growing up, I’d been convinced that material wealth was the fast track to a happy, stress-free life,” says Bloom, whose Indian mother and Jewish-American father, both academics, were comfortable, but not as well-off as the parents of his friends.
“It was the way I had been programmed to measure success.
“As a child, surrounded by kids who had private jets and personal chefs, I was indoctrinated.
“I didn’t have the time to question whether the definition of ‘rich’ was the correct one. I thought my life’s goal was to find out what the wealthiest people did.
“Slowly, then all at once”, he says, he started to realise he was on the wrong path. Then, after a meeting with a friend, which he describes as a “gut punch”, Bloom re-evaluated and quit his job.
Bloom, 34, now describes himself as an “author, entrepreneur, and investor” and his book, The 5 Types of Wealth: a Transformative Guide to Design your Dream Life, is published on February 4.
Bloom is clearly still in the “growth” industry: his followers on X have grown from a mere 5000 in 2020 to more than a million today. He counts Apple chief executive Tim Cook as “a mentor and a friend”.
‘This will either work out or be the worst decision you have ever made.’ Photo / 123rf
During his finance career, often working 80 to 100 hours a week, Bloom barely had time to enjoy his wealth. “It was more like money was a scoreboard,” he says. “I’d sit on my net worth tracking app, and see the number going up and up.”
The saddest thing, he now realises, is that his pursuit of money promised to affect his life in profound ways.
“Elizabeth and I had started to talk about having kids, but I felt this maybe wasn’t such a good idea, as it would be a distraction from my work,” he says.
Bloom’s eventual decision to walk away from a lifetime chasing the dollars and to move back to the East Coast, near his parents, wasn’t the most straightforward one.
“On paper, it made no sense,” he says.
“Almost everyone told me I was crazy. My firm was supportive and kept me on as an adviser, but I was still turning my back on the enormous carried interest. My mentor told me: ‘This will either work out or be the worst decision you have ever made’.”
It turned out to be a good decision. Within two weeks of setting up home in the New York area, Elizabeth – a designer for Gap – was pregnant with their son Roman, now 2-and-a-half.
Bloom then decided to concentrate the rest of his life on “what matters most”, the five principles of which are the subject of his book.
“Now I run my own fund, I have control over my time. I have hours to hang out with my son, playing with little cars that have conversations.
“I’m no longer a member of an exclusive country club, and instead of spending my evenings at expensive restaurants, I go to bed at 8pm.”
The idea that money doesn’t buy happiness is hardly ground-breaking. So what does Bloom have to tell us that’s new?
“Absolutely: it’s not enough just to say that.But what you can do is define how to measure the right things in your life that create happiness. These are the things you can track.”
Bloom is keen not to appear “disingenuous”, because he’s clearly already made a tidy sum of his own.
“Of course, having a certain amount of money allows you to have choices, to take risks and have experiences,” he says.
“Money isn’t nothing, but it can’t be the only thing. It is a tool, not the end goal. I’d love people to question their own definitions of a successful life.”
The five big questions about wealth
“No one has the answers; the best discoveries are through knowing the right questions to ask,” says Bloom.
Did you know that if you only see your parents once a year, you are only going to see them 15 more times in your life? Photo / 123rf
Time wealth – how many moments do you have remaining with your loved ones?
Bloom’s “lightbulb moment” came after a dinner with a friend, almost four years ago.
“He asked me: ‘how old are your parents? Did you know that if you only see them once a year, you are only going to see them 15 more times in your life?’ The fact that I could count this on my fingers and toes shook me to the core.”
This conversation was the impetus for the radical change in Bloom’s life. “I could see that my parents were already slowing down. So I decided to take those 15 potential meetings and turn them into hundreds.”
He’s keen for people to ponder the way we actually spend our time, compared with how we probably should be spending it.
For example, in his book, Bloom discusses a tool called the “energy calendar”, where the reader goes through their diary, colour-coding events green (for energy-creating), yellow (neutral) and red (energy-draining). The goal is then to spend more time on the former, and phase out the latter.
Bloom also suggests organising the day into short, separate time blocks for tasks such as emailing, meetings, and personal tasks. “Sprint, rest, repeat,” he says.
Social wealth – who would be at the front row of your funeral?
“I always wish people had their funerals while they were still alive,” says Bloom. “Close your eyes and imagine your own. Who is sitting in the front row?
“These people – your front-row people – are the ones who truly matter. Make sure you cherish and show up for the people you want to show up for you.”
Bloom discusses how we should assess our relationships, grading them from “highly supportive” to “ambivalent” and “demeaning”, before mapping them out, and deciding which ones to pursue and which to drop.
“Surprisingly, while you might expect demeaning relationships to be the most damaging, research has shown that ambivalent and inconsistent relationships create the most trouble for your physical and mental wellbeing.
“Earned status is another sign of wealth,” says Bloom. “Seeking respect and admiration through status is normal, but many people try to buy it through smart membership clubs and designer watches.
“Are you buying the fast car because you dream about driving on mountain roads on your days off, or because you want people to see you in your car and think you’ve made it?”
Far better, he says, is to “earn” your status through loving relationships, giving your free time, sharing your expertise and wisdom, and gaining respect – things that take years and can’t be acquired with cash.
Mental wealth – what would your 10-year-old self say to you today?
“Your time on the earth is finite,” writes Bloom, “so choosing the pursuits – personal and professional – that deliver the greatest returns on that time is essential. Take this time to step back and ask: what is your purpose?”
In the book, Bloom discusses ways to “jump-start” your mental wealth.
He suggests we do this by writing three separate lists: on one, the things that you love doing and “bring you joy”, on the second, the things that come easily to you, and on the third, the things that you “need” to do, such as look after your family or go to work. It can also help to draw circles and write the tasks inside, like a Venn diagram.
“Your life purpose sits in the middle of these intersecting lists, and is the starting point for you to explore it further,” says Bloom. “Remember that your purpose does not need to be connected to your profession.”
Bloom also advises everyone to find one thing they love doing and are bad at. “For me, it was running.But I got better.” He cites the example of an acquaintance who took up drawing at the age of 90.
Challenge yourself to eat whole, unprocessed foods for 80% of the time. Photo / 123rf
Physical wealth – will you be dancing at your 80th birthday party?
“A healthy body is a status symbol,” says Bloom. And he’s certainly living this rule.
A keen sportsman throughout his career, he was a top baseball player at Stanford University, and his Instagram is full of toned torso pictures and punishing workout regimes.
“Treat your body like a house you have to live in for another 70 years,” he says.
“You’re in control of the present and future state of your house. Keep the foundation and roof in good order, fix minor issues as soon as they arise, and make the small daily, weekly and monthly investments required for it to last a long, long time.”
“During my time in finance, I looked around me and there were so many rich, unhappy people. There was a billionaire entrepreneur who had four children he didn’t speak to, and a multimillionaire with three divorces.”
So how much money is enough?
“The 2010 study from Nobel Prize-winner Daniel Kahneman found that money could only boost happiness up to a point - about US$75,000 ($133,000) in annual earnings,” says Bloom.
“But while that might be okay in a rural part of the United States, it probably wouldn’t be in London, for example. I’d say it’s certainly higher than that.”
When pressed, he suggests: “Maybe a household income of US$200,000 ($353,000)? But I don’t really want to be drawn on a figure – that’s actually quite dangerous.
“The key point is that money brings you some happiness for sure – it fulfils your basic needs and pleasures, and you can take care of people. But once that point is reached, it’s about the other things. Otherwise, you will live your life in disappointment.”
