My most embarrassing moment ever happened on Skype. I was skyping an acquaintance when my friend burst into my room and began to mime enthusiastically. I initially thought she was saying that there had been another flood in the bathroom. (My heart plummeted at the prospect of another night poking a coat hanger into the plughole.) Then I realised that she was miming giving birth.
My heart actually leaped; we had been waiting to hear when our mutual friend would give birth. "That's so exciting!" I squealed. Unfortunately, I was still on Skype. And even more unfortunately, the lady I was talking to had just said that her partner had died of cancer.
It wasn't my smoothest moment. But part of the recovery process from such cripplingly awkward moments is realising that everyone has equally un-smooth moments. So we're going to play a game. I'm going to describe some common awkward scenarios, and you put your hand up when they've happened to you. Ready?
Situation 1: You're in the supermarket, once again wrestling with the eternal yoghurt dilemma - whether to buy one large pot (cheaper) or the set of six small pots (convenient) or do you sink to the floor, sobbing over the complexity of dairy-based decisions (constructive). While you're debating, someone walks up to you. They clearly know you and you have no idea who they are. You decide to nod along, while trying to subtly determine if you've slept together.
They leave, you still can't remember, only to wake up at 3am with the sudden realisation and shouting, "It's Becky's vegan ex-boyfriend Jay! How could I forget him! He looks like a stoned frog!"
