Valerie was charged with "controlling behaviour" for asking her husband to clean house. Photo / Facebook
Valerie was charged with "controlling behaviour" for asking her husband to clean house. Photo / Facebook
A self-confessed nagging wife was arrested and locked in a cell for 17 hours after being accused of controlling behaviour in the UK.
Valerie Sanders, 58, said that she begged bodybuilder husband Michael, also 58, to help clean around the house more, to work out less and to stop shopping at Aldi or Lidl.
She left notes around the house asking him to clean the patio doors or vacuum their home in Catterick, North Yorkshire, instead of his car, the Sun reports.
Valerie and Michael met online and married two years later. Photo / Facebook
She also claims he took steroids, which killed her sex life, and didn't like cuddling him as he felt like an "ironing board."
Valerie was taken into custody after a job centre reported her to police when her husband, who was previously a prison officer made redundantly, said he felt low and he blamed his home life during a routine check on his new job.
But the case was thrown out by a judge when she pleaded not guilty in exchange for a two-year restraining order.
"I'm not sure if she should have gone to court or not. That was not my decision – but she was controlling. She was constantly on at me," Michael said.
"She used to leave the vacuum out or the polish and wanted me to clean every day because of the dogs."
He also accused her of nagging him because he spent all of his time in the gym.
Michael claims the problem started when he became depressed. He claims he told his wife he would kill himself, but she laughed at him and told him to "go and do it" - a claim she denies.
Michael plans to continue entering over 55s bodybuilding competitions. Photo / Facebook
In April last year when the job centre reported Valerie to police, they turned up in two white vans and arrested her.
The mother-of-two called the charges "outrageous" and she felt like she was "treated like a criminal" for asking her husband to do his bit around the house.
"These laws were brought in to help protect vulnerable people who are suffering in relationships - not to prosecute nagging wives. It's outrageous this ever got to court," she said.
It became a crime in the UK in December 2015 following a campaign to tackle non-physical abuse.
The couple married in 2014, two years after meeting online.
Valerie, who has two grown daughters, said her husband became obsessed with muscle sculpting after he landed a job as a gym manager.
Michael increasingly became interested in bodybuilding. Photo / Facebook
Michael claims that bodybuilding was a hobby that his wife initially encouraged, but when he would "train all the time" Valerie believed it impacted their relationship.
Valerie said the bodybuilding impacted their physical relationship because she found she was less attracted to his chiselled physique.
Michael said he started to take Viagra as a result of the impact of taking steroids but a "hormone" issue made him congested, which his wife didn't like as he was "sniffy and snotty".
"She'd say I couldn't go anywhere near her like that. That made me feel worse."
A spokesperson for the Crown Prosecution Service said: "We prosecute cases where there is sufficient evidence of coercive and controlling behaviour. 'In this case, after a key witness decided to no longer support the prosecution, we concluded there was no longer sufficient evidence."
WHERE TO GET HELP:
If you are worried about your or someone else's mental health, the best place to get help is your GP or local mental health provider. However, if you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, call police immediately on 111.
OR IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE:
• LIFELINE: 0800 543 354 or 09 5222 999 within Auckland (available 24/7) • SUICIDE CRISIS HELPLINE: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7) • YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633 ,free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat. • NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7) • KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7) • WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm) • DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 • SAMARITANS – 0800 726 666.
