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Home / Lifestyle

Uh-oh! Even cleaning's tribal now

By Rosa Silverman
Daily Telegraph UK·
29 Dec, 2018 04:00 PM4 mins to read

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Marie Kondo is a guru in the unlikely territory of tidying. Photo / KonMari

Marie Kondo is a guru in the unlikely territory of tidying. Photo / KonMari

The wrapping paper is stuffed in the recycling, but needles from the Christmas tree still lie over your rug. The red wine stains on the carpet are very nearly gone, but if you dare to peek under the fridge, there remain some large fragments of walnut shell lurking.

Such debris is par for the festive course. Yet as the cold dawn of the new year looms, it is time, you decide, for a proper clean up: a belt-and-braces, chuck-away-everything-and-start-from-scratch blitzkrieg to make you feel back in control. Because who hasn't experienced the life-affirming satisfaction of transforming a domestic bombsite into a pristine haven of good intentions? Tidy home, tidy mind and all that.

Well, let's face it, it's time to tidy both. The New You you're planning to roll out for new year won't thrive for long if they're surrounded by mounds of shrivelled chocolate wrappers.

But if the prospect still feels too daunting - especially after days of over-indulging - you may need to ascertain what type of cleaner you are.

Because it's no longer enough just to waft a feather duster and hope for the best: cleaning has now become "A Thing" - they discuss it online and post endless pictures and videos.

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Netflix has even made a show about it: Tidying Up with Marie Kondo begins next week which, despite its less than promising title, looks like the sort of series we will find ourselves inexplicably glued to (despite resolving to get off the sofa).

Watching a stranger's house being tidied is perhaps the obvious next step in small-screen iterations of our home lives, given the popularity of cooking and interiors shows.

Kondo has a tribe of devotees, in the way that some books spark minor revolutions, bringing us a newfangled (read: impossible) diet or a self-help method that will make us feel euphoric - for a few days at least.

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She is a guru in the unlikely territory of tidying. Her curiously titled The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying has sold more than 5 million copies worldwide and, as the new Netflix series suggests, her popularity is yet to wane.

Kondo's stated mission - to "spark joy in the world through cleaning" - may sound as reasonable as a plan to end wars by unblocking bathroom sinks, but you'd be surprised.

So how does it work? According to the KonMari philosophy, anything that doesn't make you happy or isn't absolutely necessary should be jettisoned - but not before you've touched and thanked it, naturally. There's also a lot of folding things into small parcels and aligning them neatly in drawers.

You may doubt how much joy all this can realistically deliver. But you should also know this: "The KonMari Method will not just transform your space. Once you have your house in order you will find that your whole life will change," the book blurb promises. "You can feel more confident, you can become more successful, and you can have the energy and motivation to create the life you want. You will also have the courage to move on from the negative aspects of your life: you can recognise and finish a bad relationship; you can stop feeling anxious; you can finally lose weight."

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In other words, take that ugly cardigan you keep in the back of the wardrobe "just in case" to the charity shop, and world domination will soon be yours.

Kondo is not alone in the world of cleaning tips and decluttering. Influencer Sophie Hinchliffe has 1.4 million followers on her "Mrs Hinch" Instagram account and a lucrative book deal. Her Hinch Yourself Happy: All the Best Cleaning Tips to Shine Your Sink and Soothe Your Soul promises to offer readers "clever cleaning tips" for "a calmer you". Note once again the correlation of cleaning with mental wellbeing - because few of us can honestly say we don't feel zen when spraying cleaner down the loo.

Of course, if you have small children, most of the above will be futile. The second you've decluttered the life out of your house, they're guaranteed to trample mud through the kitchen and upend a box of Lego down the stairs. Whoever launches a service to fix that will land themselves upon a gold mine.

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