One of them is suave, sophisticated, slick and so very, very clean and tidy. The other is more of a romantic, has eclectic taste and what might be politely described as a patina.
If the minimalist style of interior decorating were your date tonight, he'd probably take you out to a new restaurant that serves aesthetically pleasing tapas on little red dishes to punters perched on black leather poufs.
Later on, he might kiss you with surprising passion although his lips would be dry and you would suspect he kept his eyes open. .
If the slightly less popular style known as romantic, eclectic and historical, were your date you'd probably be off to the park for an hour or two of gamboling, complete with a caramel-flavoured coffee, some autumn sunshine and recitations of poetry.
And when he eventually dropped you off in his old rust bucket, you would both knock foreheads as you went in for a chaste but sweet, mocha-flavoured farewell smooch.
Some people may know immediately which of these styles of decor they prefer. A ride in a sportscar or a roll in the autumn leaves? A white-and-glass walled room with only a sleek leather couch in it - or a brocade chamber lined with velvet curtains, retro prints, vintage souvenirs and an Art Deco wooden armchair or two?
But what if you can't decide - what if you're torn between these two lovers, knowing that loving both is breakin' all the rules, as that 1976 hit puts it?
Well, don't worry, because although these two styles look different, they have something very important in common: soul.
A minimal, modernist look isn't just a matter of selling all your furniture and moving, baggage-less, into one of those ubiquitous white boxes.
One of the original principles of modernism went something like: form follows function. This would often mean that unnecessary ornamentation was rejected as modernist designers believed the aesthetic of a product should be derived from its structural integrity rather than applied decoration or references to the past.
What's particularly interesting is that these days modernism, and at least some of the minimalism it begat, has become a kind of ornamentation, a fashion trend in its own right. But that's at the shallow end, where decorators do it only because it's trendy.
Because deep in minimalism's overtly frigid heart lies a burning passion for the plain and simple, the unadorned and the objective and for every line to be so well thought out that it is downright beautiful, even if it is just a straight line.
At the other end of the scale there is also passion, but it's a passion for history, culture and context and, well, maybe just for owning lots and lots of cool stuff.
Once again, you can fake this interior design style just as you can fake modernism.
Simply pop down to the shops and buy yourself a bit of vintage-look furniture, a mock-Victorian picture frame or a rococo-style tap that looks like it might have come from an 18th-century Parisian apartment but is available at Bunnings for $19.95.
But again this is a perversion of the original ideology, if we can call it that. Because a prematurely aged wooden chest purchased from some suburban warehouse can't compete with the charm of a genuinely ancient wooden chest that, for all you know, some pioneer dragged halfway around the world before it arrived at your place this century. That, as eclectic collectors know, is the joy of antique clutter - it has soul.
And that is why you're torn between two lovers and stranded at the magazine rack for hours, deliberating on which house porn to purchase.
One day you may read Wallpaper magazine religiously, loving that sense of glossy control, and the next you're all about World of Interiors, as it celebrates peeling paint, exposed piping and huge vintage chandeliers dripping with dusty crystals.
You love both of these apparently antagonistic styles because there's something more going on behind the decor than just a bit of a trend.
Congratulations - because you prefer what one might call conscious interior decoration.
Which is also why you can't decide which potential date appeals more.
It doesn't matter where he takes you tonight - as long as there's light behind his eyes - you're willing to kiss him goodnight.
Now if you could only figure out how to keep both dates - and both interior design styles - in separate rooms on a permanent basis, you'd be completely satisfied.
Torn between minimalism and clutter
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