Titanic 3d: Ghosts Of The Abyss

Herald rating: * * *

It was always going to be hard to make a sequel to Titanic - y'know, that whole sinking-freezing-drowning thing - so James Cameron has come up with this quasi-doco add-on.

Basically, he hired a Russian deep-sea diving vessel to take his cameras down to the wreck, added some digital effects to show how much the real Titanic resembles his earlier film's depiction, and rendered the whole thing in 3D. Yes, you have to wear the silly headache-inducing duotone cardboard glasses. Just be thankful the movie didn't come with goggles and an aqualung to really get you involved.

For added excitement he took along Bill Paxton, who played the dive team leader on the original film. In this, Bill plays himself as he joins Cameron on the diving bell descent to the bottom of the Atlantic. He's there to act spontaneous and awestruck and deliver a narration which reminds us how awestruck we should be, too. Which, while mildly annoying, is funny too, because Cameron has long made the sort of films in which the actors just get in the way. Now he's managed to do it in a film that didn't even require actors.

It is impressive when we finally get to scoot around the wreck (cut to Bill: "Wow, would ya look at that"). And the images delivered by two remote-control underwater cameras - which, while resembling a couple of chilly bins, soon become this film's own Jack and Rose and provide its only drama - are a little unnerving.

They are, after all poking around the insides of one giant coffin.

You come away knowing little more about the Titanic than just how deep down it is (very) and what's left of it (lots). And you get little sense of the director's fixation with the ship. Here he seems happiest as the technogeek steering those chilly bins out of a tight spot.

T3D:GOTA is a mildly diverting special feature which will inevitably end up on an anniversary DVD of the original film. But it's best to see this sort of thing on the really big screen. And if the kids get a little bored tell them to keep an eye out for that famous necklace from the previous film, the one the old lady dropped somewhere.

CAST: Bill Paxton, James Cameron
DIRECTOR: James Cameron
RATING: G
RUNNING TIME: 45 mins
SCREENING: Queen St Megascreen from Thursday