Jana Hocking admits she has been hit on more by married men. Photo / Instagram
OPINION:
Fact. I get hit on by more married men than single men.
Yes, I have found that over the last couple of years I've had more compliments, chat up lines and straight out confessions from blokes who are already partnered up than from anyone single and available.
I'm still slightly shocked when I take a sneak peak into my DMs and there's some dude commenting on my body and on close inspection has his wedding photo as his profile picture. Sigh.
These men have no shame.
Now I'm not saying I'm a glamour, at all. It seems all single women can be a target. I started asking other single friends if they had experienced something similar and most had a chuckle and agreed that it's the partnered-up blokes who are more likely to flirt with them at an event or party. Some not even in a "let's hook up" kinda way. More just seeing if they've still got "it". You know, testing to see if they are still attractive to another woman.
And listen, I get it. Well, not really because I haven't been in a long-term relationship in yonks. But from all accounts, the seven-year itch is a real thing. You start to wonder if you've settled. Life has become routine and you're slightly desperate to shake it up a little.
Like, cool. But maybe take up golf or something. Because this girl (aka me!) is only interested in finding an available bloke to fondle with.
Last year, a gorgeous lingerie company very kindly paid me to highlight their goods on my Instagram. After lots of star jumps, manoeuvring to find the perfect lighting and a shameless amount of test shots, I finally got a picture I was fairly happy with. Up it popped on my insta, and as could be predicted when you show a bit of skin on insta, in came the creepy comments. Along with some really lovely ones from my female friends. #GirlPower
As I perused the creepiest comments, there was a recurring theme. I would say 80 per cent had partners in their Instagram pictures. Do blokes think it's not cheating or being inappropriate if they're writing creepy things to people they've never met?
I even had a lady, who was clearly at her wit's end with her husband, DM me to let me know that her husband had saved my picture in his Instagram account and I clearly was a (unmentionable word starting with s). She aggressively let me know that her husband intended to w*** over it later.
Now I could have fired back with a horrible message myself, but I paused, took a deep breath, and tried to find some compassion. Clearly this woman was lashing out at the wrong person. She was upset that her husband was ogling after other women on Instagram and wanted others to feel just as hurt as she did.
I politely let her know that I won't be taking the photo down, nor body-shamed, and perhaps she needed to express her feelings with her husband rather then a woman she's never met. Sadly her venom was strong and it resulted in a blocked account.
But it got me thinking, just how easy is it for people to find out their partner is up to no good? I took to my Instagram once again to find out, and turned it into an episode for my Kinda Sorta Dating podcast.
The question was simple: "How did you find out your partner was cheating?"
I was inundated with stories but what stood out most from these stories was the same comment. "I just had a gut feeling something wasn't right."
It led to people going through their partners' phones, keeping a close eye on their social media, and following their calendar movements. Yes, the fear of being cheated on brings out the worst in us. Lord, I just got rid of a bloke because I noticed he was a serial liker on my hot friends' Instagram posts. Cringe.
So it turns out, with just the smallest amount of digging around, you can find out if your partner has a wandering eye. My only warning would be this: Don't go snooping unless you really want to know. Because it can be pretty darn heartbreaking when you find even the smallest bit of evidence.
Having a child with a rare genetic deletion is intense, but there is happiness, too.