Maria accompanying Princess Charlotte to Princess Eugenie's wedding. Photo / Getty Images
Maria accompanying Princess Charlotte to Princess Eugenie's wedding. Photo / Getty Images
In three years you could complete a university degree, sail around the world twice or catch-up on all eight seasons of Game of Thrones.
Or you could become a Norland nanny.
That is how long it takes to graduate from the famed college in Bath in the UK that has been turning out (mostly) women to look after the tiny, mewling progeny of the very rich and the very royal since 1892, reports news.com.au.
On the curriculum is everything from how to deal with nits to evasive driving manoeuvres in case the dastardly media are chasing you to get a shot of your precious charges.
Students are also taught about lots of other essential parenting skills such as how to throw the ultimate teddy bears' picnic, entertain kids without resorting to constant PJ Masks re-runs and resourcefully repurposing household items into fun, educational games.
At the end, graduates get paid a motza given they can do everything from change a nappy to ride, ski and sail.
Maria travelling with George, Kate and Wills. Photo / Getty Images
It was no surprise then that when William and Kate welcomed Prince George, Rightful King Of Our Hearts, in 2013, they opted for a Norland nanny, hiring Spanish-born Maria Borrallo.
In the years since, Ms Borrallo has been regularly spotted with the Cambridges, including chatting to Her Maj at Princess Charlotte's christening, at Buckingham Palace with George ("One day you will rule them all!" she no doubt whispered to him as he surveyed the waving crowds) and at Pippa Middleton's wedding helping to corral the flower girls and page boys.
After all, she lives at Kensington Palace with the fam and travels with them for overseas tours and holidays. We can only assume she now knows Verbier and Mustique very, very well.
However, now a documentarian has revealed that in among the rigorous training Norland nannies are put through, they are taught there is one (surprising) word that is strictly forbidden.
Filmmaker Louise Heren spent a year working on a doco about the college and has told the Mirror Online "the word 'kid' is banned. It's a mark of respect for the children as individuals".
Maria in uniform chatting to the Queen. Photo / Getty Images
Instead, it is drilled into Norland graduates that they address their tiny charges by their names.
("Does His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis want more finger sandwiches before he resumes chasing the labradors with a stick?")
The Cambridges aren't the first royals to opt for a Norland graduate, with Princess Anne having employed one of their ilk to take care of Peter and Zara Phillips when they were young. Norland nannies are also said to be employed by a number of royal families in the Middle East.
According to Heren, life as a nanny in a royal household is fairly routine.
"I've spoken to nannies who have worked with other royal families and life is pretty normal," she said. "You get up, have breakfast, you go to school and you wear your school uniform whether you like it or not. It would be quite like the average British schoolchildren."
So, a totally normal, totally average childhood.
That is, except when you go around to your Gan-Gan's house and she lets you try on all the crowns and sceptres you like before you play hide and seek in her 775-room house while a slew of dutiful footmen follow in your wake carrying your sippy cup on a silver tray.
