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Home / Lifestyle

The secret to making your children behave better on Christmas Day

By Joe Pinkstone
Daily Telegraph UK·
10 Dec, 2024 06:00 PM4 mins to read

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Taking part in traditional activities in the run-up to December 25 has a positive impact on children. Photo / Getty Images

Taking part in traditional activities in the run-up to December 25 has a positive impact on children. Photo / Getty Images

Singing carols, putting up the tree and watching festive films all make children behave better on Christmas Day, scientists have found.

However, if the threat of being on Father Christmas’s naughty list is not enough to curb bad behaviour, parents should follow the rituals associated with the holiday period to help children channel their inner angels.

Scientists conducted three studies over the Christmas period in 2019, 2021 and 2022 and found traditional activities in the run-up to December 25 have a positive impact.

“The more ‘costly’ a ritual is (the more effort it takes to perform) and the more unusual it is from the rest of the year, the more likely it is to have an impact,” Dr Rohan Kapitany, an assistant professor in data science at Durham University in the UK told the Telegraph.

He asked more than 350 parents to explain their family’s Christmas routines and track the behaviour of the children from the end of November through to Boxing Day.

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The study investigated if believing in Father Christmas and participating in the pageantry of Christmas motivated children to behave in either a naughtier or nicer manner.

Data show while most under-7s did believe in Father Christmas, the threat of getting no presents if they were on the naughty list made no difference to their behaviour.

However, partaking in festive activities and getting into the Christmas spirit did. Children were kinder, less selfish and more thoughtful the closer to Christmas it became, the study suggested.

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A professor asked more than 350 parents to explain their family’s Christmas routines and track the behaviour of the children from the end of November through to Boxing Day.
A professor asked more than 350 parents to explain their family’s Christmas routines and track the behaviour of the children from the end of November through to Boxing Day.

“We report, for the first time, that a child’s behaviour actually improves as Christmas Day approaches,” Kapitany writes in his paper.

The effect is small, he added, but enough to be noticed by parents, and is “primarily attributable to participation in Yuletide rituals”.

“Children are diverse, and their tendencies towards specific kinds of behaviour – naughty or nice – are specific to them,” he added.

“We know children think being ‘nice’ is about sharing and doing what one’s parents and teachers tell them, so it’s likely children do what their role models value.”

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Parents reported which Christmas routines they engaged with, as well as how often and when they did them.

This included erecting a Christmas tree, playing festive music, singing carols, going to Christmas events, consuming festive food or drinks, any idiosyncratic family traditions, watching Christmas films, and playing “elf on the shelf”.

‘There’s something special about rituals’

“Rituals are the glue that binds societies with values and beliefs – this is true for children as much as it is for adults,” said Kapitany.

“Parents should do what they think best for their family, but the research suggests that there’s something special about rituals.

“For my money, the magic of Christmas is in the acts of Christmas, not the belief in a big, red imaginary being.”

The study recruited UK-based parents of children aged between 4 and 9 and around 70% of the children still believed in Father Christmas.

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Parents in the study spent around £300 ($654) on presents for their children, with the average household income between £40,000 and £50,000 ($87,300 and $109,000).

The research explains how children perceive the rigmarole of Christmas traditions and reveals a benefit to following them.

But the scientists said it also had wider implications for how humans of all ages interact with rituals and religion.

“Santa Claus is akin to a god, and children are his devotees,” the scientists write in their study, published as a preprint and awaiting peer review.

“It is practically, pragmatically, and ethically challenging to probe the development of religion, but this is not the case when examining Santa (largely because, as our data show, parents do not value a child’s belief in Santa as much as they do other things – probably because Santa isn’t real).”

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