KEY POINTS:
I'm not going to get into that old 'name five famous Belgians' routine but I do recommend a visit to www.famousbelgians.net because the sitemaster's self-justification is pretty funny. (The citation of Soeur Sourire, the Singing Nun, is persuasive, but it is a bit rich to plead
that your country wasn't invented until 1830 and then claim Van Dyck and Rubens).
The Ponsonby claims to be the fourth cosmopolitan-themed Belgian bar in the world (after Kiev, Moscow and Breda in the Netherlands) which seems odd since its sister establishments in Mission Bay, Vulcan Lane and Mt Eden have been open longer. (And aren't there a few in Belgium?)
The handsome Edwardian baroque building that housed the Ponsonby Post Office for 85 years holds a special place in my heart: I lived for a university term virtually in its shadow and spent my waking hours playing snooker in a gloomy parlour across the road when I was supposed to be reading Sterne and Swift. My grades improved when I moved to Grafton.
The refurbishment and fitout is magnificent, although like all such themed bars it's inauthentically bright and neat. It may seem perverse to complain that a restaurant is too clean for comfort, but I reckon somebody could make a fortune producing ceilings pre-grimed with 150 years of tobacco smoke and fly dirt, and floors stained with beer and spit.
When I did manage to attract the attention of a waiter (by wandering through the place plaintively accosting anyone with an apron) he immediately fetched us two of those half-full and extremely expensive glasses of beer that are a Belgian specialty.
Thereafter, the service was excellent, even from the genial young chap on his first night who, whenever I asked him something, frowned wordlessly and went in search of another waiter. As the name 'beer cafe' suggests, this is as much a bar as a restaurant but the food, though, more hearty than subtle, is not half bad. A blackboard and a list of conventional specials augments a menu of Belgian specialities which is heavy on mussels (pots and platters) and rich stews with stoemp (mashed spud and veges).
I opened with a soft liver pate which came sealed in its ramekin by a lid of butter as thick as a manhole cover. I bravely set this aside and enjoyed the contents smeared on crisp Melba toast. My companion, a hungry law student who had just finished the last of her midyear exams, showed commendable enterprise by selecting the frankfurter soup which tasted a lot better than it sounded.
The same could be said of my waterzooi which sounds even worse in English (it means 'watery mess') but turned out to be a rich creamy soup full of mussels, squid and fish. The student's 'baked snapper' looked a lot like fish and chips to me (indeed it was described as such on the bill) but it was succulent and a generous serving. The waiter's insistence that the surplus could not be boxed to go because of 'health regulations' seemed bizarre to say the least.
I was defeated by this stage but the lawyer-to-be reckoned her chocolate mousse stood up to the most testing cross-examination. Her verdict was that all charges should be dropped. 'I'll be the judge of that,' I said.
The Ponsonby
1-3 St Mary's Road
Ph: 376 6092
Midweek from 11am; weekends from 10.30am.
**************************************************************
The Bill
$108 for two
Soup $8.50
Pate $12.50
Fish $20
Waterzooi $21
Mousse $10
Beers (3) $21
Wine (1) $11
OJ $4
Wine list
Usual suspects and smart touches.
Vegetarians
Nothing on the main menu.
Watch out for
Half-full beer glasses.
Sound check
Conversation-friendly.
Bottom line
Hearty comfort food.
- Detours, HoS
