The Pacifier

Lieutenant Shane Wolfe (Vin Diesel) gets to grips with his baby-sitting mission in The Pacifier.

Herald rating: * *

Now here's an idea for a movie: take an actor who's known for playing one kind of role and put him in something completely different. Like, say, a real tough guy who has to do something wimpy ... like, say, stay at home and look after the kids. Whaddya mean it's been done already? Oh, yeah. Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop. And he got pregnant in Junior.

Here, Vin Diesel plays rough, tough Navy Seal Shane Wolfe. He and three mates shoot down a helicopter, take out four gunmen on jetskis and bomb a boat in an attempt to rescue an American scientist who's been kidnapped by Serbians - and that's before the titles even roll.

The Serbians nicked the scientist, Howard Plummer (Tate Donovan), because he has invented an encryption key that can't be beat, nicknamed "Ghost". When the whole thing goes belly-up and Plummer is bumped off, Wolfe is re-assigned to babysitting the Plummer kids while his wife, Julie (Faith Ford), and a Navy intelligence officer go to Geneva to open the scientist's safety deposit box.

They will only be gone for a couple of days. Except they don't know the password and the days slip into weeks.

Meanwhile Wolfe is keeping the home fires stoked, a commando looking after an unhappy teenage boy, a boy-crazy teenage girl and a couple of brats. The only way he knows is the military, which is why the kids become Red One, Red Two, Red Three and ... really funny, huh?

You could write the plot: he will begin as tough'n'grumpy then soften up and, aw shucks, really love those kids. The kids will rebel at first but they'll end up minding their manners and tidying their rooms.

Along the way the nanny will stomp out of the house, there'll be trouble at school - older boy is in the high school play, director stomps out, and guess who takes over, with a meaningful talk to the kid about following his dream?

Then he sorts out the principal and cuts the bully teacher down to size in a wrestling match. And saves the little kids when the big mean scouts attack their cookie stand at the mall.

Phew! All this and guarding the secret device from invading Serbians and Hollywood's current fave nasties, the North Koreans. Which is what Diesel should do - forget the babysitting and stick to the knitting.

* DVD, video rental July 13