I guarantee no matter how hard this kid practiced he wouldn't have mastered the recorder. Photo / 123RF
Take a trip down memory lane to remember primary school for Kiwi kids in the 1990s.
They say they are the best days of your life - and they're probably right.
Things were easier then, even with enforced exercise (fun runs - yeah right) and homework.
Inspired by a Twitter account @PrimarySklProbs, we decided to cast our minds back to the days at the old school yard/courts/bottom field/jungle gym and reminisce on how lucky we were.
The bigger the better, these bad boys ruled.
Honestly, I'm sure these were very advanced watches and could probably predict the weather, but I only had mine for the light. Baby G watches would often light up in two colours (usually shades of blue), some of them with an animal silhouette in the background (some had a dolphin - whoa).
Some primary schools got stashes of musical instruments for students to take home and practice with in the hopes that some major prodigal talent would shine through.
Spoiler alert: That never happened. I would bet money that 99.9 per cent of children with either of these instruments sounds terrible. My parents went one step further and got me flute lessons and I was sent into the middle of my grandfather's orchard with the cursed instrument so no one could hear me play - and I couldn't even make a noise with it yet.
One Herald staffer reports his school had a bucket of disinfectant where children could put their used recorders after playing - spitting in - them so that they would be ready for the next class.
Yes! After several severe and tragic incidents resulting in snapped rulers, or rulers with broken corners, we welcomed the arrival of bendy rulers.
Made from soft plastic and available in a wide range of three fluro, see-through colours, bendy rules could be curled up, written on and used to slap people.
Huge shout out to "Helix" tins, Duracell, clear Duracell with cut out pictures, stationery lists and smelly gel pens and sticker books (with furry stickers).
Little canvas folders in a range of colours would safely cart your reading book for the week to and from school.
Also used for transporting weekly newsletters and notices about nits
Some schools had library bags - plastic bags with drawer strings and cartoon pictures of books on the outside - for weekly trips to the school library. How I remembered to pack all of these bags every day I will never know.
Some books, like
Where's Wally
and
iSpy
, couldn't be taken out because they were too special - total bummer.
An elusive role which allowed you to go to the "pie lady" and pick up everyone's orders at the start of lunch.
See also: Book monitor, bin monitor, pedestrian monitor, sport monitor... Now that I think of it, these were all ploys to get me to do jobs.
Everyone has been to a McDonald's birthday party... And what a bonanza they were with face paint and Happy Meals and the playground - some of which were upgraded in the early-mid 90s from Hamburglar swings to space theme extravaganzas you could get lost in, with ball pits.
Another fantastic party destination was Lollipops play land - think American Ninja Warrior but for kids - again with a ball pit.
And these:
These tips will help you up the intimacy in a stale relationship.