The man about your (prospective) house

By Teri Fitsell

In a country where visiting Open Homes is a national pastime, there is always room for another series about improving your 'umble abode. New this season, My House My Castle has quickly established itself as a favourite, consistently rating in the viewing top 10.

The series is hosted by Robert Harte, actor (both theatrical and for a time on Shortland Street), lawyer and survivor of the short-lived You be The Judge. Speaking from his home - incidentally not an actual castle but an old school house dating back to 1905 - he puts the series' success down to its quick-fix mix of information and entertainment.

Says Harte: "Kiwis love their houses, New Zealand has one of the highest rates of home ownership, and we tend to spend a lot of time looking after them.

"My House delivers information in a relaxed format that's entertaining. We tell it like it is, but have added a few quirks ... in fact, in a way, I'm the straight man."

So far MHMC has focused on home-acquisition subjects both fundamental and frivolous. There's been the continuing saga of the dream house that turned into a leaking, cracking, crumbling nightmare. And the horror stories involving removal firms and checklists of structural problems to look out for before purchasing.

And of course the more lighthearted (for viewers anyway) sagas, such as why you shouldn't let a black-stockinged caregiver near your old man and his will.

Perhaps the show's greatest asset, though, is David McNee, the former estate agent who is sent forth to transform houses that won't sell. He performs Mission Impossible-like face lifts after striding into a home and invariably reeling in horror at what is meant to be its elegantly "neutral palette" .... "cream, cream, cream, cream .... boring, boring, boring."

He grimaces at furniture, is appalled by net curtains, and tsk-tsks at kitsch ornaments. And woe betide the vendor who thinks he/she can leave their washing hanging out on Open Home day.

"David's tremendous, people adore him," says Harte. "I think he's a national treasure."

And what would David make of the colour scheme in Harte's house?

"Oh, he wouldn't be pleased," says Harte. "Mine's a 'waiting to be repainted' colour."

Amid David's cheap, easy decorating solutions there are also tips for giving your open home that extra edge.

The best ones so far are: leave a dampened loaf warming in the oven so the smell of fresh bread wafts through the house; have classical music playing, not only to stifle outside noise but also to create a "this is a classy place" vibe; and wipe condensation off windows and mirrors so that thoughts of dampness don't seep into potential buyers' minds.

An area of the show that could stand a change is when the real-life victims of housing horrors "act" in the reconstruction scenes. They are not actors, and scenes of feigned anger, frustration or shock (when woken in bed by water leaking though the ceiling, for instance) have been cringe-inducing. Next year's Oscar contenders need not quake in their shoes.

And nobody could accuse the programme's makers of being subtle.

When Harte mentioned that the subject had just divorced, up flashed a graphic of her husband's face being unceremoniously torn from the family portrait. Touching.

Clearly though, viewers are getting a lot from the series. Harte finds himself frequently stopped in the street: "Some times people are just hoping to get some cheap conveyancing," he says. "But some have told me how advice in the series has helped them.

"A policeman said a house he'd looked at turned out to have eight of the problems on a checklist we'd broadcast. It started with no under-floor insulation and grew. He said he'd run away from the house as fast as possible.

"It's tremendous that My House is both fun and really helping," says Harte.

Who: Robert Harte

What: My House My Castle

Where:TV2

When: Tonight 8pm