New research suggests that jobs might not be the only commitments being left behind as life steadily returns to normal. Photo / 123rf
New research suggests that jobs might not be the only commitments being left behind as life steadily returns to normal. Photo / 123rf
We've heard warnings of the Great Resignation, but new research suggests that jobs might not be the only commitments going out the window as life steadily returns to normal.
According to new research conducted in Australia, Covid-19 could lead to The Great Separation, with countless couples ending their relationships in the next few months.
The survey, conducted on behalf of amica, an app designed by family lawyers to help guide couples through the process of separation, was undertaken in October by 1009 participants who are either married, engaged, or in a de facto or non de facto relationship.
It found that one in five couples blame the pandemic for ruining their relationship, while one in 12 are considering separating.
A record 49,625 couples, meanwhile, filed for divorce during 2020/21, Federal Circuit Court statistics reveal — an eight per cent rise in just 12 months.
National Legal Aid Director and amica project chief Gabrielle Canny told news.com.au the findings were unsurprising given the "extremely challenging" and "stressful" nature of the past two years.
"We anticipate that there are tens of thousands of couples who have held things together as long as they can, but now want to move on without becoming one of those bitter and expensive separation horror stories we so often hear about," she said.
For couples who weren't already on the brink of splitting, going from spending a healthy amount of time together to being in each other's presence 24/7 has likely played a hand. Photo / 123rf
For couples who weren't already on the brink of splitting, going from spending a healthy amount of time together to being in each other's presence 24/7 has likely played a hand, life and relationship coach Megan Luscombe suggested.
"This [has] caused tension in some relationships because it made each person in the relationship acutely aware of the other's behaviours, thoughts and values that they might not have previously witnessed. Some couples have realised they're not in great relationships, at all," she told news.com.au.
"As couples weren't able to take more 'me time', they were forced to be around the other more, meaning more opportunity for conflict to arise. The couples that weren't able to navigate that conflict and use it as a way to grow closer (after mending the conflict) became more distant and disconnected."
Seeing who in the relationship carried more of the emotional load, as well as the physical load, at home has also contributed to couples realising the potential discrepancies in their dynamics.
For writer and podcast host Melissa Mason, whether Australia will see a break-up boom now that we're allowed outside the confines of our homes is something she's been thinking about "a lot".
And while lockdown might not have thrown a spanner in the works, our return to "normal" could.
"I think relationships formed in Covid will be challenged now we're coming out of lockdowns because, while we got to really spend a lot of time with new partners and get to know them on a deeper level than we would have pre-lockdown, we now have to share them with friends, family and other life commitments," the Jeans & A Nice Top co-host told news.com.au.
"We'll also be seeing them 'in the wild', so to speak — how do they speak to retail workers? How do they behave around friends? We might discover other sides to them we don't like, so I do think some relationships will end because the person they fell for in lockdown is very different in the social situations we would normally encounter them in."
According to a national survey conducted for amica, one in five couples blame the pandemic for ruining their relationship, while one in 12 have considered separating. Photo / Supplied
It's no surprise that the past 18 months have affected our relationships, Mason said, but she's sceptical whether, in most cases, the pandemic can be held solely responsible for a relationship breakdown.
"I do think even if your [relationship] ended due to the pandemic, you have to ask yourself if the pandemic was to blame, or if that end result would have happened anyway," she explained.
"I think there are some relationships where the pandemic was directly responsible for conflict and issues that arose — those separated by border closures and international closures and the impact of redundancies and financial issues.
"But for most, the truth is that we will always encounter issues in life, and they're not usually conveniently timed. A strong relationship is when you both can come together and weather those storms."
New research suggests that jobs might not be the only commitments being left behind as life steadily returns to normal. Photo / 123rf
If you are looking to end your relationship — and you have more at stake than just the matter of who gets custody of your unused hoard of lockdown toilet paper — both Canny and Luscombe recommend doing their research and sitting down with a professional.
"Sit down with a third party to work out what the separation looks like. Why is it occurring? What do we need to heal to ensure we have a relationship moving forward (for those who have children together)? What are the steps we need to take to ensure we leave this separation in as positive a state of mind as possible?" Luscombe said.
"I'd also suggest couples ask themselves if the relationship can be salvaged before making any decisions in the heat of the moment."
And whether your relationship was merely a pandemic-induced Tinder fling or 12 years of marriage, Mason said that honesty is the key.
"We want to soften the blow by giving less detail — but if you've ever been broken up with, you know it's the questions surrounding the break up that hurt the most," she said.
"Obviously you don't need to be too specific, but if you've fallen out of love, if you want to be single, whatever the general reason — say so. Don't leave room for speculation that the other party can "fix" something about themselves to get you back."
