It's easy to get it right if you follow these rules. Photo / Getty Images
It's easy to get it right if you follow these rules. Photo / Getty Images
OPINION:
While there is lots to enjoy with a spell of hot weather, there's always a price to pay. I don't mean sleepless nights, sunburn and listlessness, but some of the outfits that come out with the sun. Soaring temperatures are something most of us only experience on holiday, which means that we haven't had much practice in perfecting our hot-weather wardrobes at home. Shorts, T-shirts and sandals can feel wonderful to the wearer, but they can scare the hot pants off those around you – especially in an office or shared workspace.
We don't always want to sit next to co-workers exposing their knobbly knees and gnarled toes, pull up a chair that has remnants of sweaty thigh or converse with a colleague whose V-neck T-shirt plunges so low you can almost see his navel. A few years back there was a trend for shorts suits – tailored shorts teamed with a formal shirt and matching blazer – which, in theory, sounds plausible… but, in practice, is less so: if you're over 35, there's a strong chance you'll look more like Wee Jimmy Krankie than Pharrell Williams.
Although the current mantra is about dressing as your authentic self – propelled, quite understandably, by lockdown when we got used to peering at our colleagues' off-duty wardrobes as well as their spare bedrooms – sometimes restraining that authenticity shows a bit of consideration to others. You want to find a balance where you feel comfortable and others feel comfortable looking at you. In a work environment, at least.
There's also an element of practicality to consider. If the air conditioning in your place of work isn't that reliable, a clingy cotton T-shirt and a pair of cotton twill shorts aren't necessarily the best way to battle the elements.
Not everyone can make it work like Pharell Williams. Photo / Getty Images
Long linen trousers (with drawstring waists for extra comfort) are far more effective in hot weather than shorts as they allow the air to circulate around your legs and help keep out the heat as natural fibres breathe and thus maintain a cooler body temperature. They also stop your exposed flesh sticking to the chair (which can lead to unpleasant sounds and unsightly marks) as linens and cottons will absorb excess moisture (try the linen/cotton drawstring trousers in sand by sirplus.co.uk). If you don't want to wear a linen shirt, too – wrinkle overload – go for a loose-knit polo shirt (linen jersey polo in white by thomsweeney.com). And for both of the above, a lighter colour will make you feel cooler: these will reflect rather than soak in the heat.
However, I can guarantee that wherever you live and work, and despite any advice to the contrary, there will be a number of shorts junkies over the coming days who will optimistically do it their own way. There is lots to admire about our stoic nature, and so much to applaud about the loosening of the antiquated rules that have governed the way we dress for so long, but I'd still be cautious with the short-trouser styles you will inevitably encounter any moment now:
1. Cargo shorts
Men should never be given anything with a multitude of pockets (unless climbing a mountain) as we will only fill them with things we don't need, like KitKats and used tissues. Filled pockets make your thighs and bottom look bulky. Nobody ever wants to look full.
These have been in fashion for some time – some of eye-poppingly meagre length. If you've got good legs, go for it – but on holiday and at home. You never know which part of your anatomy could pop out uninvited when wearing a pair of these. They genuinely look and feel much better when sitting on a raffia beach chair than they do on a plastic swivel one.
3. Tailored linen shorts
Idris Elba broke free of the usual red carpet attire. Photo / Getty Images
If you do insist on wearing shorts to a bar or a boardroom, these are your best bet. They tend to be cut to a modest length, come in a variety of colours (shorts are a good place to be a bit more experimental with the colours you wear: ie pastels) and, as I mentioned above, are the most warm-weather friendly.
4. Denim cut-offs
It's best that I'm honest here, but you really do need to be young and slim to pull these off (so to speak). And even then they are far more suitable for festivals than they are for conferences. Dudes in Daisy Dukes need good legs and a good nightclub.
5. Short suits
Designer Thom Browne. Photo / Getty Images
If you insist on going down this route, at least leave off the tie; you might look like a misplaced schoolboy. When I was editing Esquire magazine, an intern turned up on his first day wearing a shorts suit, shirt and tie. The maternal fashion team spent all day asking him if he needed the loo. This look won't give you the stamp of authority in a boardroom.
Thom Browne shows how it's done on the catwalk. Good luck.
6. Lycra shorts
This is the category you really don't want to spend too much time with over the coming days. Middle-Aged Men In Lycra shorts (MAMILs) mounted onto racing bikes tend to look furious even when the temperatures are bearable, so I can't imagine the apoplectic looks on their faces as they pedal up and down hills in this weather.
The thought of sweaty bits and bobs all clinging closely to each in a shiny, synthetic fabric is enough to put you off your al-fresco lunch. I can't, in good conscience, make any recommendations here.
