1. Michael Galvin
Prepare your animal and insect noises. Babies are really into creature noises. Most are very easy, but some need forethought. For example, what noise does a butterfly make? Or a rabbit? Or a worm?
2. Paul Ego
You've got a boy so best give up on the idea of any toilet training now and just accept the fact that he's never going to get it anywhere near the toilet. I'm 47 and I still haven't nailed it.
3. Gilda Kirkpatrick
The romanticism of re-creation and all the poetic notions that go with it are fantastic, but it will do nothing for your super-sore nipples when you're breast-feeding. Every first-time mum should be warned about cluster feeding, which creeps up unexpectedly around the two-week mark, just when your nipples are recovering.
4. Mark Richardson
Having a royal baby can be a little tricky. Clearly, its s**t won't stink. So, my advice would be to do a visual check of the nappy situation regularly, rather than the usual lift-and-smell-its-bottom approach used for the common baby.
5. Pua Magasiva
William, just say "yes, babe" to everything. You are wrong even though you know you're right. She is beautiful even on her worst day. And do whatever she tells you to do.
6. Kate Rodger
You will love your son so much you'll think he's a prince (in your case this is fine, given he's an actual prince). Even if you live in a palace (which you do), don't expect your gorgeous son to care about your prized possessions. As long as he can reach it, he will destroy it. This phase will last for all eternity. And that feeling you have right now? That one where you cannot ever imagine loving anything more than you do right this moment? You will love him even more in the next.
7. MP Paula Bennett
You cannot love and hold a baby too much. Listen to Carole. And don't read blogs or take advice from letters to the editor or talkback.
8. Jeremy Corbett
Sleep when the baby sleeps. But not when you're driving.
9. Jessie Mulligan
The most difficult job for a new parent is getting your baby to sleep and, unlike most things in life, being the future king and queen of England won't help. Nor will the money, or the castles, or the thousands of magazine covers celebrating your celebrity. It's just you and the baby sitting in that room, or pacing around the deck, or (twice, shamefully, in our case) driving up and down the Northwestern Motorway at 3am because you don't have any other ideas. They're the times you feel most desperate, but also when you feel most like a family. For two people who live their lives in public, that'll be a particularly special feeling.
10. Pebbles Hooper
I think parents who put children in slogan T-shirts or buy them baby Crocs should be contacted by authorities. So all I can say is keep Prince George dressed as cute as Wills was, so the world can coo over him for a bit longer.
11. Toni Street
Get yourself a good pair of comfy track pants to mooch around in; you're not going to want to put your skinny jeans on for some time. It's an emotional time, so even if you don't usually cry, expect a few tears in the first few weeks.
12. Sacha McNeil
Prepare for the toddler years by hanging out with drunk people; perhaps spend some time with Harry. There's always high emotion, drama, puking, breaking into song, swaying and stumbling. Sounds fun? It actually is. Enjoy every moment.
Beauty queen prophecy
First there was the fist pump. Then the muddled coverage outside Buckingham Palace for the wedding of Wills and Kate. And the flustered, awkward reporting from The Hobbit premiere. Now Wendy Petrie's blow-away hair and clipboard reading from earthquake-torn Wellington on Monday night has been criticised by insiders at One News, who wonder if the anchorwoman is the right person for live crosses in the field.
"She probably shouldn't leave the studio and the autocue," said a high-placed source. "She needs to get her s**t together if she wants to do live crosses. It's not easy."
Petrie is well liked in the newsroom, but her bloopers and clumsy crosses fill a small library on YouTube.
As a young beauty queen competing for the Miss Auckland title in 1989, Petrie, a Manurewa school student and Auckland Rugby cheerleader, foretold her future: "I hope to go to university and work towards a career in journalism and broadcasting," she said. "My ultimate aim is to become a TV presenter."
Alternative hit Her debut breakout hit, Royals, has been named in Apra's top 20 list for the Silver Scrolls (announced on October 15). Now 16-year-old Lorde has hit the top 10 in the Alternative Music charts in the US, the first female soloist to do so since 1997, says Billboard magazine. Her single jumped from 13 to 9 on the Nielsen BDS-based alternative radio chart.
Dumb show, dumber game
PS: Dominic Bowden and Mel Blatt jetted out of the country on Tuesday, but Daniel Bedingfield, who's preparing for upcoming gigs here, was busted browsing in Dick Smith. He was looking at video games and carried a copy of The Last of Us up to the counter. That's a sort of zombie apocalypse game, which is ironic given he's just been involved in a reality show aimed at the brain dead.