The Dating Diaries: Why being 'in love' isn't the best part of a relationship

The early stages of being smitten with your significant other shouldn't be taken for granted, writes Lillie Rohan. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION:

Shrek said "ogres are like onions, we have layers". Well, not to freak you out by comparing Shrek to love but like ogres and onions, love is multi-layered.

It's understandable why you are now wanting to read "The Dating Diaries: An examination of ogres, onions and love layers" and one day you may get the chance, but today, we will be savouring the layers separately like a sweet mille-feuille.

Being in love is lovely but this column is about the sweet layer before you fall in love, where everyone knows you're in love but you're too coy to admit it. The glow of love is seeping through your pores and you never see your friends anymore because all of your attention is held by Prince Charming.

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While you're gallivanting around with PC on your arm you might notice your friends have given you a wide berth. It's not because they're single and sad (that combination is a myth) it's because they have lost their go-to Wednesday wine buddy and your infatuation for PC means when you do catch up with them, they want to cut their ears off so they don't have to hear how sweet he is 50 million times.

Their eye rolls and snarky remarks don't matter because you are Aphrodite in a tub of love. And you're so head over heels that T-Swift's love anthems will get your tear ducts lubricated within the first lyric.

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This layer can provoke some mixed feelings, the cold-hearted side of you wants to vomit and the warm-hearted side of you is urging you to post lovey dovey poetry on Instagram. The "unresolved trauma from your parents divorcing" side of you is expecting something to go wrong, and despite the fact you're looking at the world through rose coloured glasses, you can't help but wonder, how strong is love?

I suggest you don't stand under the raincloud though because a bonus and my personal favourite of this love layer means you start to develop tokens with each other (tokens are expressions of love and affection). This "token" can be anything from an inside joke to a favourite restaurant. No matter what it is, it fills you with the warm and fuzzies knowing it is something between only you and your special person.

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I got together with my first serious boyfriend at the tender age of 18, so it was to be expected that we spent a lot of time partying together and unsurprisingly one of our "tokens" was a song. Whenever it played, we would find each other and enter our love bubble away from the world. It sounds unbelievably coupley and gross now but at the time it was what teenage rom coms were made of.

This layer of love is placed perfectly between the "chase" and the "I love you" layer meaning the only way to go is up, up and away until your head is in the clouds.

Off you go little love birds.