1. Rebound with someone you are physically attracted to.
And I'm not talking 'oh they're kind of cute' I'm talking the ultimate lusty experience. Pull all your fantasies together and go on the prowl, it's time to treat yourself.
Post-break-up, you are either feeling like a fire or a crying emoji, but you also have this weird confidence so shimmy into your favourite dress and swipe some red lipstick on your lush lips, you'll not only feel better but the law of the universe is you attract what you project, so if you look hot, you'll find hot.
I don't make the rules.
The whole point of a rebound is to boost your confidence and get you back in the saddle and what better way to do it than with someone dripping in sexy vibes.
2. Your rebound has to be different from your ex - or else it's going to get weird
Your ex was six foot (5'9 on a good day) with blonde hair, could hold an intellectual conversation and played competitive sport every day. Your rebound guy is 6'5, doesn't know how to spell education and only cares about babes, protein shakes and tans.
He is perfect.
If he isn't your usual type, even better. Remember your rebound guy has an expiry date so he doesn't have to tick all the boyfriend boxes. Kimmy K left Kayne and (potentially) rebounded with Pete bloody Davidson. I mean, she may not have. But they held hands and so we are running with it.
Go for the opposite. Trust me ... and Kim.
3. Your rebound cannot be your co-worker
Do not, and I mean it DO NOT let one of your co-workers become your rebound. It could quite possibly be the worst love life experience ever.
Been there, done that and got the resignation letter to prove it, doll.
Office environments thrive on gossip - because office life is a snooze fest, so even if you think you're being discreet, your office buds will definitely notice the slight change in your relationship with Jimbo from accounts and boom, rumour town.
Of course you want your name to be bouncing around the office but not for that reason, or maybe you do, regardless, keep in mind your rebound will end at some point and you'll have to see the person you used to enjoy smooching all day every day.
Can I get a hell no?
4. Your rebound can't be looking for a relationship
No. Relationship. Potential.
It honestly hurts me typing this because I'm a firm believer in if it's meant to be it will and if you and your sneaky link decided you want to graduate from rebound to an actual relationship I truly will not judge. But in the essence of being unattached, you're not allowed to intentionally rebound with a lad that is desperate for a relationship. You will hurt him and that's not what this is about. Be kind.
It keeps everyone on the same page and keeps you accountable because the best part of a rebound is having your own space without becoming one half of a "we" couple.
This is a discovery period of your life and not the time for serial monogamy.
via GIPHY
5. Keep it casual
Remember the honeymoon period? It's all ripping each other's clothes off, kissing so much you barely talk to each other and having the abrupt realisation you don't know their last name.
This lusty rebound-moon is the same, except instead of freaking out you don't know their last name, you revel in it. You might not even know their first name and you certainly don't know about their family life, vocation or relationship history and that's a little hot, isn't it?
All that mystery.
Ever heard the saying "keep it simple, stupid"? Well, it's time to implement it. The lighter things are with your rebound, the easier it will be to break things off.
6. Last - but certainly not least - make sure your rebound is double-vaxed, baby
Just like you use a condom to avoid STI's, use the vax to avoid getting Covid. While there is no passport to your heart, there is one for the Covid vaccine. So use it wisely.
Stay safe out there, queens.
