The guide breaks the process into four steps to support women hoping to leave: the preparation phase, the launch phase, the "nourish" phase aimed at preserving safety, and the "flourish" stage aimed at supporting long-term financial stability.
Preparing to leave
Planning is the most important phase in preparing to leave.
When preparing to leave it is important to keep yourself safe when using technology. Be sure to manage the settings on all your devices. If, at any time, you think your partner is tracking your location through your device, our advice is to ditch it.
Collect and keep safe your important documents, including your passport and driver's licence. If you can, collect evidence of your abuse (such as photos). If you can access cash and credit cards, they can also be really useful.
If you choose to leave, you'll need to consider the safety of yourself, children and pets. Start thinking through legal advice, escape routes and emergency contacts, checklists and logistics.
We know this can be overwhelming, so we have included some links to resources in the toolkit to help. Prepare when and where you can get support.
Launching your plan
When you launch your plan, remember to call 111 if you are in crisis. You've made the decision to leave. We know you haven't come easily to this place and you may be frightened. Make sure you are aware of short- and medium-term support available to help keep you and your children safe when you decide to leave.
The launch section of our guide outlines how to get help in an emergency, leave home safely, get a Protection Order and where to get food and a bed for the night in a crisis.
Navigating paperwork as you work towards financial security
For the next part of your journey, which we call the "nourish" phase, you'll need to know where and how to access support payments and services, longer-term accommodation options, how to look after your ongoing personal safety, and where to get legal advice on your rights.
The site provides information to help navigate the paperwork and sustain you on the journey to financial security and independence.
Flourishing with a longer-term financial plan
To thrive in the long run, you need financial stability. A crucial component is having a budget, and the "flourish" section of the guide details how to build one.
A budget sets out your income and expenses and, importantly, allows you to plan for the future. It identifies ahead of time when you may have a shortfall in funds.
Unless you've experienced it yourself, it's hard to appreciate just how difficult it is to leave a violent relationship. Building a financial plan is a crucial part of making your exit successful in the long term.
Glennda Scully, Professor, Curtin University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article here.
Support services available:
• 211 Helpline (0800 211 211) – for help finding, and direct transfer to, community-based health and social support services in your area.
• Find your Local Women's Refuge by calling 0800 743 843 (0800 REFUGE) to be linked up with an advocate in your area.
• Victim Support – call 0800 842 846. 24-hour service for all victims of serious crime.
• Victim Information Line/Victim Centre – call 0800 650 654 or email victimscentre@justice.govt.nz.
• Shine domestic abuse services – free call 0508 744 633 (9am to 11pm) if you're experiencing domestic abuse, or want to know how to help someone else.
• Family violence information line – call 0800 456 450 to find out about local services or how to help someone near you.
• Elder Abuse Helpline – call 0800 32 668 65 (0800 EA NOT OK) - a 24-hour service answered by registered nurses who can connect to local elder abuse specialist providers.
• Tu Wahine Trust – call 09 838 8700 for kaupapa Māori counselling, therapy and support for survivors of sexual harm (mahi tukino) and violence within whānau.
• Shakti New Zealand – call 0800 742 584 for culturally competent support services for women, children and families of Asian, African and Middle Eastern origin who have experienced domestic violence.
• Safe to Talk – sexual harm helpline. Call 0800 044 334, text 4334 or email support@safetotalk.nz.
• Rape Crisis Centres – call 0800 88 3300 for contact details of your local centre. Provides support for survivors of sexual abuse, their families, friends and whānau.
• Male Survivors Aotearoa New Zealand – call 0800 044 344. Offers one-to-one, peer and support groups for male survivors of sexual abuse and their significant others.
• Tu Wahine Trust – call 09 838 8700 for kaupapa Māori counselling, therapy and support for survivors of sexual harm (mahi tukino) and violence within whānau.
• ACC Sensitive Claims Unit – call 0800 735 566 for access to services related to sexual abuse or sexual assault.
• Hey Bro helpline – call 0800 HeyBro (0800 439 276). 24/7 help for men who feel they're going to harm a loved one or whānau member.
• Korowai Tumanoko – text or call 022 474 7044 for a kaupapa Māori service for those with concerning or harmful sexual behaviour.
• Stop – support for concerning or harmful sexual behaviour.
• Need to Talk? 1737 – free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.
• Youthline – call 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz.
• Kidsline – call 0800 54 37 54 (0800 kidsline) for young people up to 18 years of age (24-hour service).
• Skylight– call 0800 299 100 helping children, young people and their families and whānau through tough times of change, loss, trauma and grief.
• Oranga Tamariki – call 0508 325 459 (0508 FAMILY) or email contact@ot.govt.nz for concerns about children and young people.
