Herald on Sunday rating: * * 1/2
The Clare Inn, Mt Eden
Address: 274-278 Dominion Rd, Mt Eden
Phone: (09) 623 8233
Web: www.theclareinn.com
KEY POINTS:
In search of a meal appropriate for a column appearing on the eve of St Patrick's Day, I scoured appropriate websites for Irish restaurants and came up with the names of four pubs.
Dining ahead of time as I was, I knew I was in no danger of being served an emerald-green pint of Guinness or bellowed at by a demented leprechaun, but I thought it would be good to sample some genuine Irish cuisine. So I emailed an Irish pal, whom I will not name so as to protect him from reprisal.
"Where can I get a decent Irish feed?" I asked him. "Loads of places, to be sure," he replied. And he listed the names of four pubs.
(I should say here that he didn't say "to be sure". I quote him as saying that because it annoys him. I suspect he avoids saying "to be sure" to annoy people like me who want to quote him. He resents the cheap Irish stereotypes to which, in his view, writers too readily resort, and I can't get a decent Irish joke out of him. I'd probably feel the same if my name were Paddy Murphy, but it isn't. Neither is his, but let's just keep that between ourselves.)
The Clare Inn is an agreeably gloomy space fitted out with dark wood and roughly plastered walls. Handsomely worn stairs lead up to a large first floor with a deck out the back for the smokers. By all accounts it's 10-deep at the bar when there's a game at nearby Eden Park, but on this Wednesday at lunchtime a couple of blue-rinsed pensioners were enjoying their midday meals and three businessmen were having a sandwich and a soft drink.
Paddy reckoned this was the "most authentic" of the four names we'd been tossing around. But as I started on my first pint of Guinness and looked over the menu, I had to wonder what the least authentic would look like. The dishes on the lunch menu looked pub-standard to me: chicken sandwich, beef burger, fish (beer-battered, of course) and chips. The evening menu was no more help. There's a bacon and cheddar boxty (a heavy pancake) with the sirloin steak and a ``traditional beef and Guinness pie', but nothing else to suggest you're not in, say, Mt Eden. No coddle or colcannon or champ or even just a feed of bangers and mash.
"It's not very Irish," Paddy said, a touch apologetically I thought. The woman at the bar, overhearing us, had a word with chef and reported that he'd knock up a beef and Guinness pie for us. That was kind of him, but truth to tell (and don't tell Paddy this) I thought his kindness was better than his cooking: the pie's gravy was grey and thin - and I could find no trace of the "field mushrooms and tomato" mentioned on the bill of fare.
It is possibly a trifle unfair to expect a pub to stack the menu with Irish specialties. You don't get much call for mashed potatoes mixed with kale or spring onions in these parts; indeed, a good part of the population is descended from people who came here to get away from such things. But until someone opens a boxty house, the Irish pubs may be all we have. Shouldn't an Irish pub serve something more Irish than Christchurch-brewed Guinness?
Wine list: It's a pub.
Vegetarians: The pasta, probably.
Watch out for: Crowds on footy nights.
Bottom line: It's a pub.
- Detours, HoS
