'Did we turn the oven off?' trumps 'I love you' when it comes to meaningful communication.
In a piquant gag in the new movie The Artist, the neglected wife of a silent movie star begs him: "We need to talk." Her husband ignores her, demonstrating his modernity in marital relations, if not in movie technology.
A survey last week in Britain claimed that couples now talk to each other, on average, for less than 10 minutes a day. In cities with rich cultural and working lives, it appears couples barely open their mouths. The great art of conversation has shrivelled to this: "Have you got the charger?"
If you bother to set the table for supper, you will still need to lay a place for the laptop. Almost any discussion needs Google verification, from the results in Iowa to the actors you think you recognise in Sherlock. You could describe something funny that happened to you on the way to work, but why not call up instead the online clip of Usain Bolt playing Richard Branson?
The perfunctory nature of exchanges between loved ones is described as "conversation coma". Are we boring each other to death? In some cases, communication is limited to text: "Can u bring down washing?" or "More milk".