On sunny days, Americans will be picnicking in parks until 11pm. Photo / Getty Images
On sunny days, Americans will be picnicking in parks until 11pm. Photo / Getty Images
Today is my first day back in New Zealand after a month Stateside. I can't tell you how happy I am to have access to peace and quiet on the streets, fresh food, and independent cafes. However, there are some things Americans do better than Kiwis. Here's my top ten.
1. How to go out for dinner alone
It's never been part of New Zealand culture to go out for dinner alone, but Americans are more than happy to be sat up at the bar, order a lovely meal, and chat to the bar staff and other solo patrons. Back home most would think somebody doing that was making a sexual advance, but in America - especially in big cities where nobody cooks at home - lone diners roll this way without any agenda beyond being fed.
2. How to enjoy the seasons
We seldom appreciate the seasonal changes in New Zealand, but in America, people utilise every sunny/cloudy/snowy/rainy day as if it was the last of the year. On sunny days, Americans will be picnicking in parks until 11pm. On cloudy days they'll go for long hikes because they can do so without getting sunburnt. On snowy days, they'll rug up and make snowmen or go ice-skating. On rainy days, they'll see all the films they've missed out on the multiplex, back-to-back.
In almost every major city, the transport infrastructure just works in America. Subways are safe, reliable, and run 24/7 to anywhere you want to go. Highways are vast, wide, and they better utilise special lanes for carpooling, buses, taxis, and airport traffic. And, interstate rail travel, furthermore, is fast, efficient, and extremely affordable. All we have at home is spaghetti-like motorway junctions and poorly-serviced half-hourly bus and train services.
Subways are safe, reliable, and run 24/7 to anywhere you might want to go. Photo / Thinkstock
4. How to outsource
Americans value their time, and outsource their chores to ensure their focus is on their jobs, families, and friends. From laundry to groceries, car servicing to gift buying, Americans put their trust in others to get the jobs they don't want to do completed. Because there's such a market for outsourcing, moreover, the cost of doing it is extremely affordable because of all the competition.
5. How to keep good open hours
Unlike in New Zealand where high street retailers keep standard business hours (i.e. 8.30am to 6pm), American clothing and other consumer stores open and close a lot later. It's no skin off your nose when your favourite t-shirt shop doesn't open until 11am (who buys clothes before work, anyway?), but it's extremely convenient to be able to go shopping for several hours after work on a weekday. The norm close-time for American retailers is at least 7pm, if not 8, 9, or even 10pm.
6. How to reward good service
Because servers are working for tips in the US, you'll often come across spectacular wait staff. They are literally only earning about $2 per hour from their employers (that's right, there's no "Living Wage" when Stateside); all real income must be made up from tips. So, when you encounter service that goes above and beyond what you would ever expect and makes your hospitality experience something to remember, you reward the person responsible for it with 20, 25, or even 30 per cent of the total bill.
7. How to pour a drink
Forgive me, Kiwi bartenders, but a visit to any bar across America and you'll find out just how stingy watering holes in New Zealand are on the size of their shots. American bartenders don't measure shots in an alcoholic drink with a jigger; instead, they free-pour based on how nice you are as a customer. The result? Strong drinks and a much cheaper night out, even with the $1 tip per glass.
American bartenders don't measure shots in an alcoholic drink with a jigger; instead, they free-pour based on how nice you are as a customer. Photo / Thinkstock
8. How to hold your alcohol
Despite free pouring in US bars, Americans still lack the binge-drinking culture that plagues New Zealand. The higher drinking age (21 instead of 18) likely has something to do with this - American teens don't have easy access to booze and don't learn the "joys of binge drinking" while they're too immature to understand themselves.
9. How to complain
Americans' ability to vocalise their dissatisfaction is both a negative and a positive part of US culture. On one hand, it's confronting to hear Americans say exactly what they think to people they don't know, e.g. those in the hospitality industry when something on their plate isn't right. On the other hand, complaining gets results. Americans seem to leave every establishment they enter (whether it be a bar, a Laundromat, or a clothing store) with exactly what they want.
10. How to change your mind
You don't have to be unhappy to get what you want in America, though. In New Zealand, it is near impossible to get a full refund on any kind of item simply because you've changed your mind - it either needs to be faulty or you'll be left with an exchange card. In the US, "I've decided I don't need this top" or even "I got home and realised I already had milk in the fridge" are legitimate reasons to get your money refunded. Americans will refund anything, anytime, anywhere.
