Reporting hasn't helped - shift work means I lack the routine exercise needs and like a lot of journalists I have a cosier relationship with alcohol than I should.
Can I get shredded for summer?
My instructor Raphael Barcellos makes no promises about what I'll look like - but he does tell me with confidence I'll be twice or even three times as strong at the end of six weeks of his DRILL fitness boot camp than I was to begin with.
The Brazilian, who served two years in his home country's army, said rather than talk weight loss he preferred to focus on getting people to change their lifestyles.
He told me how people who started out being unable to do five sit-ups had come with him on epic snowboarding adventures and gruelling obstacle courses.
I will be doing 45 minutes of high intensity interval training with him three mornings a week for six weeks.
As they say though, abs are made in the kitchen.
Accompanying the exercise is a "shred it" diet plan by Lifespark nutritionist Kate Walker.
Booze is banned, as is sugar, and carbs are to be kept to one serve a day, if I have to have any at all.
RIP my after-work wine.
Using a set of scales sending electric currents through my body, Walker determines I'm about ten percentage points above where I should be in terms of body fat.
The fat around my middle is also about ten points too high, and it's "stubborn" fat apparently, which means it's closer to my organs and harder to shift.
Walker's confident we can bring the numbers down - I just have to stick to the programme.
Wish me luck.
