Stoptober - Diary of a Quitter: Day 16

Matthew Backhouse smokes his last cigarette before starting Stoptober. Photo / Nick Reed

Journalist Matthew Backhouse chronicles his efforts to quit smoking for Stoptober in a daily diary.

This is probably no surprise to anyone, but when you deprive your body of a substance it's addicted to, some pretty weird sh** starts to happen.

I thought nicotine patches would ameliorate that. But no - your body goes into revolt regardless. Here's what's happened to me so far.

Static shocks: I really don't know why this is happening, but ever since I quit smoking, I've been getting static shocks multiple times a day. And not just when I touch inanimate objects - I transferred a static shock to a colleague twice in one day recently. There must be something in the patches - that weird, flexible, metallic material - that's causing it. Otherwise I'm just developing a useless superpower, I guess.

Haywire sinuses: It could be because it's spring - but it could also be my body finally embracing the chance to push out all the poison. I've been sneezing and throat-clearing and generally feeling a bit seedy for days now. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the headaches.

Headaches: Seriously, what's with all the headaches? Throbbing, eye-watering, kill-me-now headaches. I don't think I've reached for the paracetamol so much in my life. It's like a hangover without any of the fun.

Restlessness and sleep deprivation: I know I'll get a better night's sleep thanks to quitting smoking - eventually. But for now, I fluctuate between being constantly tired and completely restless. It's kind of like being a baby - only not at all endearing, because I'm a man in my 30s who keeps snapping at everyone.

Shocking smells: I don't know why an improved sense of smell is supposedly a benefit of quitting. Have you walked down Queen St recently? It smells terrible. Not developing world terrible, true. But enough to make me think I'd rather have the limited sense of smell of a smoker.

And shocking tastes: I've really enjoyed being able to taste food much better since I quit smoking. But it's come at a price. The other night, my partner made a less-than-average curry. I can't really capture the flavour in words - just imagine undercooked onions laced with about a bucketful of curry powder. And I'm not being mean - she agreed it was kind of terrible. But if I was still a smoker, it probably would have been great.

So that's what's been happening to me. If you've experienced any weird side effects, drop me an email, or a comment, or a tweet. I'd be delighted to know how this strange experience has been working out for you.

To take part in Stoptober, visit www.stoptober.nz

For help quitting, visit Quitline at www.quit.org.nz or phone 0800 778 778