Stealth

Herald rating: *

The next techno-conundrum of modern warfare, says action thriller Stealth, is robo-fighter planes.

After all, the American military is already using pilotless drones to cut down on the body bags. What if a hard-to-detect supersonic jet had an artificial intelligence of its own?

Like R2D2 got into the front seat of the X-wing? Would it care about collateral damage? Would it give the other robo-pilots fruity nicknames? Would the sales of aviator shades plummet?

Yes, while Stealth wants to ponder a theoretical military future, it inspires only a sense of ridiculousness and although it owes much to 80s predecessor Top Gun, it makes it look like Catch 22 by comparison.

Three crack US Navy pilots - Lucas, Biel and Foxx - all flying next-generation hypersonic fighter-bombers get landed with an AI comrade called EDI who, of course, speaks like 2001's Hal and acquires the nickname "Tinman". While the three-pilot, one-robot squadron is off taking out terrorists and nuke-toting warlords in various bits of Asia, EDI blows a fuse and decides to invade Russia by itself.

Somehow there is still time for Lucas and Biel to make eyes at each other, Biel to break out her bikini, Foxx to turn his role into a bad Will Smith impersonation, and for treacherous commanding officer Sam Shepard to chew his way through a mound of cigars.

Yes, it comes with lots of special effects, all part of the incoherent and underwhelming aerial action which suggests this is a film auditioning to be a videogame.

You may wish cinemas came with their own joysticks, but that's soon replaced with the need for an ejector seat.

CAST: Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, Sam Shepard
DIRECTOR: Rob Cohen
RATING: M (violence, offensive language)
RUNNING TIME: 121 mins
SCREENING: Village, Hoyts, Berkeley cinemas