Starbucks drinkers in US, Canada and Mexico can now get their fortunes told with the Crystal Ball Frappuccino. Photo / Instagram
Starbucks drinkers in US, Canada and Mexico can now get their fortunes told with the Crystal Ball Frappuccino. Photo / Instagram
Starbucks, thirsty for some social media magic, is releasing its latest sugary concoction: the fortune-telling Crystal Ball Frappucino.
The sparkling candy sprinkles-festooned drink will be available for five days in the U.S., Canada and Mexico. It follows similar limited-time drinks, such as the coffee chain's colour-changing Unicorn Frappuccino.
Starbucks hopes the cream-based new drink, which is infused with peach flavour, will be photographed by customers, posted on social media and spread around.
Starbucks says buyers of the new drink can learn their fortunes based on the colour of the sprinkles atop their whipped cream: blue stands for adventure, green for luck and purple will bring "magic, wonder and enchantment."
Analysts at Stifel, however, are sceptical that buzz will sweeten Starbucks' sales. It's unclear if the chain's past gimmicks worked, and analysts called the timing of the new drink "seemingly random."
Starbucks' Zombie Frappuccino, for instance, came out before Halloween.
I have looked into Starbucks' new Crystal Ball Frappuccino, and the future looks bleak
After the unicorn, mermaid, zombie, vampire and dragon Frappuccinos, Starbucks has apparently run through the entire list of magical creatures that can be coated in sugar and blended with ice.
So this weekend, it's hoping for a different type of magic: The Crystal Ball Frappuccino is the brand's newest Instagrammable rainbow concoction. And it has a secret code! The drink, Starbucks says, features turquoise swirls and comes with one of three colours of sprinkles: If they're blue, it "foretells adventure." If they're green, it will bring you luck. And if your Frapp is purple, "Wonder and enchantment are headed your way. Also owls." Which sounds kind of like a threat.
The writer's Frappe arrived looking like this hot mess. Photo / Maura Judkis
Starbucks does decode what is foretold if your drink arrives as mine did: a sort of Caucasian-flesh-toned cup of beige ice milk with pink sprinkles on top. I have gazed into the Starbucks crystal ball, and it has told me, accurately: You are a boring white person who has ordered this dumb drink.
Everything about this Frappuccino is a bad omen. It is supposed to taste like peaches, but the peaches were too embarrassed to show up. So, it tastes like how a vanilla car air freshener smells. It tastes like a Bath & Body Works lip balm circa 2001. It tastes as if the milk left behind after you eat a bowl of Lucky Charms was trying waaaay too hard.
Meanwhile, the sprinkles on top aren't trying hard enough. They're not Pop Rocks, or edible glitter, which would make this drink exponentially worse but at least in an interesting way. They're just coloured sugar resting on top of sugar milk.
Anyway, because fortunetelling is a subjective art, here are some alternate interpretations for your Crystal Ball Frappuccino fortune. If you get blue, you will meet a handsome stranger! (Who will avoid your uncomfortable eye contact at Starbucks.) If you get green, doors will be opening for you! (When the guy in front of you holds the door at Starbucks.) And if you get purple, it means you're probably the reason a barista is having a bad day, because they all hate making this drink.
