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There was a young woman from Limerick,
With an exceptional fondness for turmeric ...
The Irishwoman threw a look for which the word "baleful" might have been coined. "I agreed to dinner on condition there weren't any Irish jokes," she said.
Fair enough. Edward Lear never set foot in Limerick. No one knows why he called them limericks. But it's the only thing that outsiders remember about her city, apart from Munster beating the All Blacks in 19-whatever.
Words, and their meanings, is our theme for today. Soul Bar and Bistro, and the order of those words is important, has a superlative base in Viaduct Harbour. A leading restaurateur jealously reckons it's "the best site for a restaurant in New Zealand".
On a fine Sunday evening, with the boats rocking gently at their moorings (as were the Irishwoman and myself, after a G&T and a Jameson's), he was right. There's another point. Tried eating out in Auckland on a Sunday evening? Soul is one of the rare places where you can.
It can be a hard restaurant to pin down. Some restaurants are couples' places, some are for large parties. Soul attracts tourists and players. Former players, too. And ladies who lunch.
"I'm having fish," I told the Irishwoman, "because this place has a seafood bent." Judith Tabron, the frontperson, made her name at Ramses with her fish cooked any of five ways. And head chef Peter Thornley continued the tradition. He has moved on. Mark Wiley takes over from November 28, just as the Soul cookbook arrives on the coffee tables.
Dunking ciabatta in olive oil and balsamic in the finest Celtic tradition, the Irishwoman started with whitebait fritter. She is going home after two years here and had not tasted one of our talismanic dishes. Squeezing over lemon, slicing into a light batter, the Irishwoman wondered what she'd been doing for the past two years. Clearly, not spending enough time around Mokau or the West Coast.
I began with sambousik, "a little Lebanese pie with Bulgarian feta, silverbeet and caramelised onions". Google "sambousik" and you'll find that Lebanese biz'ness. I can't tell you whether the feta was Bulgarian. It wasn't little, it would have kept a Sydney wharfie happy. Taste, flavours, ditto.
She ordered a perfect Sunday dinner - lamb rack, cooked the way that every Kiwi housewife never did, with goat's cheese and bacon terrine, roasted almond and fennel-leaning salad. Well, unless she had a Greek mother-in-law.
She added potatoes, sauteed in lemon oil with dukkah, in the finest Irish tradition. "We don't consider it a meal without potatoes," she said.
For me, snapper grilled "tarator" style. Snapper because it's the finest fillet, no arguments accepted. Which is why I was surprised when the man brought John Dory.
Later I Googled tarator and got 49,100 responses. It's "a nut sauce used to dress vegetables much as aioli or garlic mayonnaise is in France. An excellent nutritious dish for vegetarians". Agree that it's an excellent, nut-rich idea. However the fillet, whatever its parentage, was severely overcooked.
"I must have brulee," said the Irishwoman, and was obliged with a fine specimen, rhubarb and ginger, splashes of lime zest and gelato.
I tried to cover most bases with sauvignon blanc, Craggy Range Te Muna 04. After the waiter had come over twice to tell us the specials, what's off tonight, and with the mix-up over the fish, it seemed best not to risk outside input.
So back to the meaning of words. "What do you think about this restaurant?" asked the Irishwoman. I hummed and hahhed because it's hard to pin down what works (the site, the style) and doesn't (uneven food and service). It's hard to escape the conclusion that it lacks soul.
Address: Viaduct Harbour
Phone: (09) 356 7249
Owners: Judith Tabron, Cullen Investments
Head chef: Mark Wiley from November 28
Open: 7 days, lunch, dinner
Food: Mid-East inspired
From menu: Seared scallops on toasted pilaf with coconut, curry and kaffir lime $19.50
Gnocchi, roast duck, braised winter greens $28.50
Grilled venison loin chop, caramelised peppers and pomegranate $36.50
Wine: Superior, Kiwi-angled
Bottom line: Great site, great sights. Food, service can disappoint.
Soul bar and Bistro, Viaduct Harbour
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