Were they Paris Hilton-inspired skinnies with rhinestones on the derriere and a purse-pooch to match? Or were they 2000s teen rom-com baggy jeans dragging on the floor with an itty-bitty g-string popping out the back?
Does the perfect pair of jeans even exist among the quick-fading fads of the 21st-century Pinterest board?
The most unrealistic and unrelatable thing in The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants was not how efficient the postal system was (although count it as an honourable mention), but how the hell one pair of jeans could not only fit, but be loved, by four completely different girls.
This is why the resurgence of skinny jeans has incited much controversy over the past few weeks.
A firm believer that you only find one great pair of jeans in your life - RIP Daniel Hechter op shop find circa 2017 - I’ve opened myself up to various pairs of jeans throughout the years, dabbling in all shapes, all sizes and all washes.
When someone coined the idea of ‘the perfect pair of jeans’, what was the image in their head? Photo / Instagram @haileybieber
With comfort conquering class on my list of requirements, baggy jeans have been at the top of the charts for a good few years, with mom jeans coming in second and the humble bootleg holding third - a modest placing for the 2000s throwback.
What no one saw coming - particularly me - was the return of the Spanx-inspired skinny-jean trend.
With the quick revival of skinny jeans - and the ensuing PTSD flashback of the Jonas Brothers in waistcoats and converse on the 2000s Disney stage - I had to take myself off my pants pedestal and question if I was being a brat over the once-iconic, perhaps still-iconic, jeans style.
Both Kendall Jenner and Princess Kate have been spotted flaunting skinny jeans. Is this the dawn of a new trend? Photo / Instagram @kendalljenner
Prompted by trendsetter Kendall Jenner and queen of class Princess Kate, the skinny jeans made a resurgence through the most influential of feeds.
While I interpreted this fashion move as an act of sadism, one can’t deny that they both rock the frocks out of their stylish mid-wash casual wear, so why can’t I?
No matter how you slice it, the writing is on the wall: where the baggy jean once reigned supreme, the skinny jean is scheming mutiny.
Perhaps this debate is signalling a more important question that I, and perhaps many, should be addressing: why does the resurgence of the skinny jeans trend give me anxiety?
Kate Middleton is seen sporting a pair of skinny jeans in her family's 2022 Christmas card. Photo / Matt Porteous
No matter your shape, size, height or width, the baggy clothes trend is an easy style to love.
Oversized jumpers, loose-fitting pants and shirts that cover your navel (and then some) are a small comfort when living in a world where bodies are confidently sprawled across our social media daily.
However, maybe the dawn of skinny jeans means we can no longer hide under our comfort blankets?
If that’s the case, rip off those chunky, three-sizes-too-big jeans and chuck on a pair of hip-huggers to take a stand. Life isn’t supposed to be comfortable, it’s supposed to be fabulous (cue Ab Fab Patsy quote here). If jumping the jean ship is some symbolic leap for confidence, count me a skinny jeans sailor. All aboard.
Trends are made to be tried, tailored and tested at least once. If skinny jeans in 2023 are the snails of Paris, consider this our pledge: we’ll try it at least once.
