KEY POINTS:
Let the festivities begin...
Tonight is the Herald staff Christmas party. And as I frantically search Auckland for a suitable costume (I am going as Jem from Jem and the Holograms), I thought it an apt time to discuss work dos - and share some cautionary tales.
The Christmas work party is a curious beast.
At first awkward and uncomfortable, it quickly progresses to drunken frivolity, before returning to a new level of awkwardness as you realise you are stumbling around town with your boss and colleagues, singing Bon Jovi and generally making a complete tit of yourself.
When it comes to work parties, some things are a given.
Someone is going to offend someone.
Someone is going to hook up with a fellow colleague, in what they believe is a covert and discreet manner. (Of course, it won't be. Come Monday morning, everyone will know.)
Someone is going to be found slumped over a toilet having over-indulged at the open bar.
The secret to a good work party, is not to be any of these people.
Know when to call it quits and don't be the last to leave.
Likewise, do not, under any circumstances, return to the office.
This only leads to trouble.
Last year, a certain anonymous friend accompanied a senior partner back to the office. A senior, married, partner with multiple children.
Once there, they opened another bottle of wine and ... Well, no one really knows as said friend can't remember the rest of the night.
But given that she woke up, naked, on the partner's desk at 6am with him nowhere in sight, one can easily imagine.
Needless to say, it was not long after Miss X embarked on a new career path.
Another friend's colleague found himself out of a job after engaging in a boardroom romp with an intern and a secretary.
Unfortunately, the trio didn't realise surveillance cameras were watching their every move.
So, as the silly season hits full swing, take heed of these cautionary tales and remember to have fun - but not too much.
