Growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, fat was the worst thing you could be. Being skeletally thin was in and shows like The Biggest Loser were born, not just normalising but popularising the
Siena Yates: Growing up in the 90s fat was the worst thing you could be
Writer Siena Yates pictured at home in Te Puke today. Photo / Alan Gibson
And it's that fear, right there, that affects so many going into weight loss surgery.
The other day I came across a whole thread online where people were swapping notes on how to get away with keeping their surgery a secret.
One woman had gone so far as to research a different kind of surgery that she figured out had the same operating time, recovery time, general side effects, reduced appetite and even had roughly the same number of incisions so people wouldn't get suspicious looking at her scars.
The worst part wasn't that she'd come up with it, it was that at the end of her post she'd written: "Works every time."
I can only imagine how many times she's told that lie.
The stigma surrounding weight hits at every step on the journey: if you're fat and you hate yourself, "You should just do something about it, then."
If you're fat and you love yourself you're slammed for "promoting obesity" (am I also actively "promoting" asthma, migraines and IBS? Because I have those too and no one seems bothered about that).
If you haveweight loss surgery there's the stigma of "taking the easy way out", which we've discussed before and then, if you successfully lose weight, there's stigma around that too - just look at Adele and all the nonsense she copped for daring to be thin. Relationships fall apart and friendships buckle as people cry, "You've changed" when what they mean is, "Oh the power dynamic has shifted and I am no longer comfortable."
It feels like these days getting a boob job is more acceptable than weight loss surgery and the only reason is that one is perceived as a perk for the rich and famous and the other as a get-out-of-jail-free card for the lazy.
I'm fortunate enough to be surrounded only by love and support, but seeing that thread made me hyper-aware of how many people are still stuck feeling like I did when I was 10, so this week I wanted to pass on a message I received (out of the blue) from someone I admire very much, for whoever needs to hear it.
She said: "You are strong, worthy and an amazing wahine toa. You're beautiful fatty or skinny or in-between!"
So take that and toss everything else out with all the other 90s trash like dial-up, Furbies, waterbeds, overplucked eyebrows and "that's hot".
This week's NSV: I've started doing classes at the gym again and already finding movements a little bit easier and less draining. Also, I ate some salmon and poached egg and that, e hoa mā, is the greatest win of all.