Should kids be banned from weddings?

Do kids add cheer or trouble to a wedding? Photo / Thinkstock

It was six years ago, nearly to the day, that my husband and I tied the knot.

I vividly remember planning my wedding - which was taking place in South Africa - via email and phone from NZ.

I also remember thinking I would prefer no children at the event, with the exception of my flower girl. It was my day, (well, me and my husband's day) after all. We didn't want noisy kids talking through the ceremony or getting overtired and scratchy at the reception. So when my mum mentioned an out-of-town family member would be attending with her offspring, I was put out.

I ended up agreeing, and in the end, having the children there was not a catastrophe. We had a lovely, memorable wedding and I was pleased so many people attended. The kids didn't steal my thunder, I kind of felt silly even worrying about it. In fact, they added some laughs and fun to the event.

Fast forward a few years and I was attending a family wedding in Australia, with very clear instructions - leave the kids at home.

By then, my first-born was 10-months-old. The thought of leaving her with an unknown babysitter overseas filled me with dread.

"Why can't I bring my baby?" I wondered.

I was full of angst and really didn't want to go without her. But I did, and ended up having a good time. My baby was fine, too.

When it comes to the question of whether to invite kids to events like weddings, or not, I've experienced both sides.

My advice is this: Brides (and grooms) - it is YOUR day and you absolutely should have the last say. However, have a little compassion and consider making exceptions for out-of-town guests, or those with very young children.

Consider asking the venue if there's a space or room that could be used to hire an on-site sitter. This allows guests to bring kids and check on them, or feed them if necessary, but not miss out on the festivities.

To parents - at the end of the day, the couple's request should be respected. Kids are messy and unpredictable and many months (or years) of planning and saving has gone in to crafting the perfect ceremony.

Don't be scornful if your kids don't make the cut. Think of it as an opportunity to have some time off for child-free fun.