In an online poll of worst hotel room annoyances, 80 per cent of respondents voted for "Noisy people in a nearby room". Other options were: bad coffee, ugly decor, no free Wi-Fi, expensive mini bar treats, no HBO and cheap toilet paper.
Funnily enough, it didn't mention my top annoyance in hotel rooms: electrical appliances that emit undue noise or light pollution. I prefer utter silence and complete darkness in order to get a sound night's sleep. Yet designers of hotel rooms often seem unable to grasp what's required for a peaceful slumber in a strange bed.
Just before Tropical Cyclone Evan struck I spent five nights at the Intercontinental on Fiji's Natadola Beach - which was very pleasant but also hypocritical in light of the piece I wrote a year ago in which I questioned the suitability of this island nation as a holiday destination. I changed my mind, okay?
My bedtime ritual on the first night at a new hotel involves the systematic shut-down of all appliances likely to compromise suitability of the room for sleeping. I duly initiated the routine at the Intercontinental by first unplugging the digital alarm clock on the bedside table - partly because I've been rudely woken at 4am by a screeching alarm set by previous guests before but mainly because its display compromised the level of darkness in the room.
I unplugged the television on the opposite wall and the telephone between the beds, deftly obliterating two pilot lights in the process. I switched off the main lights to see what stray sources of light I may have missed. I turned the lights back on and unplugged the second telephone near the television.