When my daughter was born in 2003 I remember embracing some theory that said the first three years of a child's life were the most crucial to her development. This message had a great deal of appeal to a new parent staring down the barrel of a job with demanding expectations, uncivilised hours and no fixed timeframe.
Accordingly, I went all out for those 36 critical months. Her wooden crib was painted with five coats of organic citrus-based white paint. She went to Gymbaroo classes. We started honing her ball skills before she could walk. We washed her with a luxurious European skin cleanser formulated especially for babies. We blew bubbles, stacked blocks, watched The Wiggles, collected leaves and knew all the words to the Horse in Striped Pyjamas song. Her father read Where's Spot?, Who Sank the Boat? - and Hairy Maclary and Zachary Quack to her every day.
Looking back, it must have been exhausting - for her as much as anyone else. And now, of course, I wonder why we even bothered. Lately we've been bumping into old kindergarten friends in the street. We stop to chat and it's awkward because my daughter does not know who these people are.
"You must remember Ted from kindy" I say. But she claims to have no recollection of him - or pretty much anyone else she knew prior to the age of five. It's the same every time we meet old friends. Sometimes she looks at me as if I'm making it all up. Anyone would think she's in some witness protection programme and must deny all knowledge of her former life. "Honestly, I don't know why we put so much effort into those first few years. You don't remember any of it. We may as well have kept you in a cardboard box," I told her the last time she silently accused me of hallucinating.
When she turned three, and with that original theory still in mind, I remember thinking: "Oh well, we did our best here. Let's see if it was good enough." I felt even more of a relief when she skipped into her classroom on the first day of school. There was an overwhelming sense of my-work-here-is-done. Amateur hour was officially over. Trained experts would now oversee her development and education.
