Shelley Bridgeman: Country versus city life

For the last 24 years I've called Auckland home. But recently I've started hankering for small towns and wondering if I'm ready to return to my old stomping ground of Hawke's Bay - which is kind of ironic because when I was 18 you couldn't see me for dust as I headed south to university in the capital. I was so ready to leave, yet now, decades later, the Bay (as some people call it) certainly has some appeal: there's the laidback lifestyle, the weather, the vineyards and the produce for starters.

I've just completed a six-week stint in the greater Hastings area and now have a fresh perspective on where I want to live and why. Working in Hawke's Bay and sending my daughter to school there, I lived like a local and enjoyed all the simple spring-time pleasures the region had to offer. There were blossoms, A&P shows and a live hand grenade.

A radio announcer on a Hawke's Bay station recently reported that, thanks to pollution levels, people in cities age faster than people who live in the country. I could have told them that. And I bet it's not all about pollution. Quite frankly, every day stressors that plague the lives of Aucklanders are all but non-existent in Hawke's Bay.

Despite my best intentions I never got around to figuring out the school bus system so I drove my daughter to school each day. In Auckland I avoid such a chore at all costs. Although the drive times are practically identical, the experiences are a world apart.

In Auckland the route is peppered with irritations. There are traffic lights, traffic jams, bus lanes and yummy mummies parking their hideous SUVs illegally. I'm constantly amazed by the women who have the energy to attend sweaty boot camps each morning but refuse to walk more than 20-metres to deliver their little darlings into school.

In comparison, my drive into our Hawke's Bay school was idyllic. There are long straight roads lined with orchards, oversized roundabouts, big blue skies - and, importantly, no traffic lights, very few other cars and a complete absence of stress merchants in the vicinity. In such an environment my blood refuses to boil. I am virtually serene as I drop off my child. This school run makes my Auckland life seem ridiculous, over hyped and needlessly complicated.

I have to admit that from a distance it seems like a rat-race. Life in Auckland sometimes can be one big competition. People bid against each other for over-priced real estate and crash websites in their enthusiasm to see what their property is worth. Parents lie about their addresses to get their children into schools with higher deciles. We vie with each other to get the best carpark and make an art form out of how to most efficiently negotiate Auckland's notorious rush-hour traffic.

It's the lack of traffic and the ease of getting around that sets Hawke's Bay apart. I drop off my daughter right outside her school without jostling for position or making inconsiderate manoeuvres. And one evening we parked right outside our destination (which was an Indian restaurant in Ahuriri). Let me repeat for our Auckland readers: RIGHT OUTSIDE. It was drizzling but since the passenger door was just 1.5-metres from the restaurant no umbrella was required.

But when I need to drive somewhere in Auckland I have to calculate the likely travel time, add maybe 15 minutes for delays and then another ten minutes for parking. Yes, parking. In Auckland you may well have to park in a multi-level building which - by the time you've driven up several levels, found a park then walked back down to the street - has taken up more time than it should have. Then you still have to walk to the venue. We don't often acknowledge it but such complicated procedures can be exhausting, can even make you think twice about venturing out.

People even walk differently in Hawke's Bay. It's a slower, more measured pace which I, too, adopted for the most part. Just once I caught myself striding purposefully like an Aucklander through Farmers in Hastings as I mentally ticked off another chore and thought ahead to the other 10 on my list. But that Auckland don't-fuss-with-me walk evolved for good reason. It's partly a defence mechanism to protect us from beggars, charity collectors and do-gooders intent on impeding our progress. It's also often a result of the fact we're running late thanks to excess traffic, parking woes and other big city inevitabilities.

Yet I've decided that Hawke's Bay's greatest attraction (its laidback, virtually stress-free vibe) is also its biggest drawback. It can feel sleepy, like nothing much is really going on. On the other hand, Auckland is big enough and diverse enough that it is always buzzing with potential at any time of the day or night. There's the constant possibility for excitement, maybe even danger. Even if you're tucked up in bed with a cup of cocoa by 10pm you could be doing something far more interesting if you wanted to. And that is the point: Auckland offers the opportunity for almost anything.

I had to spend time away to finally acknowledge my true affinity for Auckland. I love its unpredictability and its vibrancy. I want to be a part of its beating heart, to experience its ebbs and flows, to embrace its idiosyncrasies. I heart Auckland. But the next time I'm stationary on a motorway while my navigation system adds countless minutes to my arrival time and the next time a people-mover shunts me out of the way when its passive-aggressive driver changes lanes without checking for other road users I'll probably pine for the simplicity of life in Hawke's Bay.